NMS script for DEADER (Spoilers)

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Great read, I like how you punctuate the action to subtly imply camera angles. Also liked the moving train party and the way she had to pry the info she needed out of an uncooperative person. The blowjob though - Is that something thrown in to titillate the readers? The scenes where one reality broke through to another sounded high-dollar in terms of effects, so it might be a good thing that it became part of a franchise. Hard to imagine that stuff in a low budget movie. They did a similar effect in Pirates of the Caribbean and it didn't look cheap to do.
TW

Usenet · Accepted Answer

[nq:1]Great read, I like how you punctuate the action to subtly imply camera angles. Also liked the moving train party ... she needed out of an uncooperative person. The ******* though - Is that something thrown in to titillate the readers?[/nq]
To be honest, given that I never thought that this was going to be more than an R-rated movie, it never occured to me that you'd actually see much of anything I mean, much beyond the fact that this guy has a girl down between his legs, which, considering that she's just walked the length of a train full of people in pretty much all imaginable states of undress engaged in pretty much anything you could think of doesn't strike me as inherently "titillating."
I did it, really, for two reasons first, I thought it would be kind of funny that is, this guy carries on what amounts to a rather casual conversation with Amy, during the entire course of which he's having *** with somebody else and he hardly ever refers to it.

Second, while we refer on several occasions to the kinds of stories that Amy has done in the past, to the kind of stuff that she's gotten into and there's the reference to her previous story "How to be a Crack " we don't really see anything we don't get to see her, in essence, on her own turf.
This place, these people, this situation having a casual conversation with some guy who's being given a blow job getting information out of him that's the world that she knows, the kind of people she deals with.If it's just like meeting some guy in a club, only it's happening on a train if it was sanitized in that way then, as far as I'm concerned, it makes Joey into much less interesting a character and it says much less about Amy so she goes to a train where they have something like a club and talks to a guy there. But you add that edge of weird depravity and have everybody treat it like normal and now it's saying something about her about what has at least up until now constituted "normal" in the world in which she has navigated.

And this guy the guy who is casually being given a blow job he's the guy who's telling her that what she's doing now is too weird, too dangerous, too abnormal that she should back off, move out of town, change her name.
It makes it into a rather different kind of scene certainly a rather different scene than what ultimately ended up in the finished movie.

The scenes where one reality
[nq:1]broke through to another sounded high-dollar in terms of effects, so it might be a good thing that it became part of a franchise. Hard to imagine that stuff in a low budget movie.[/nq]
I think you may have mis-typed. It might be a good thing that it did or a good thing that it didn't? Those elements of the story certainly didn't survive the transformation to a 2 million dollar direct-to-video Hellraiser sequel which is as about as low-budget as you can get outside of the Charlie Band type world. All of that stuff was cut the Chinese kitchen was cut plus, of course, just to save a little time and money, they also cut out all of the scares.
They did a similar effect in Pirates of
[nq:1]the Caribbean and it didn't look cheap to do.[/nq]
Well, it was pretty pricey in PotC because the "alternate reality" that broke through was one in which all of the characters were replaced by skeletal duplicates that were completely rendered by means of CGI. Indeed, that would be rather expensive.
"Deader" as originally conceived was certainly not a high budget movie, in Hollywood terms. It would have been, depending on the level of the casting, something like a fifteen or twenty million dollar movie.

That, unfortunately, was not destined to be its fate.

NMS

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[nq:2]The ******* though - Is that something thrown in to titillate the readers?[/nq]
[nq:1]To be honest, given that I never thought that this was going to be more than an R-rated movie, it ... rather different kind of scene certainly a rather different scene than what ultimately ended up in the finished movie.[/nq]
Makes perfect sense. The whole travelling club thing really caught my imagination.
[nq:1]The scenes where one reality[/nq]
[nq:2]broke through to another sounded high-dollar in terms of effects, ... Hard to imagine that stuff in a low budget movie.[/nq]
[nq:1]I think you may have mis-typed. It might be a good thing that it did or a good thing that it didn't? Those elements of the story certainly didn't survive the transformation to a 2 million dollar direct-to-video Hellraiser sequel[/nq]
Ah, sorry, I didn't realize it went DTV. I've been messing around with some of the CGI programs and I could see where it could be done cheaply if the actors never crossed through the scene, or if they did to make them CGI as well for a brief moment.
Thanks Neal,
TW

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]Great read, I like how you punctuate the action to subtly imply camera angles. Also liked the moving train party ... low budget movie. They did a similar effect in Pirates of the Caribbean and it didn't look cheap to do.[/nq]
I finally read the "Deader" script. What impressed me is that in the first 10 pages we already knew and understood Amy, already "got" the relationship between her, Bud and Larry and the main story had seriously kicked into action. And we liked the characters (at least I did). A good lesson for wannabe script writers there "get going!" (Actually, by about page 13 I was thinking, "yeah, right, who am I kidding?") I liked the apartment scene, the fingernails scraping and the buzzing flies were truly creepy and the train car scene definitely got me into the story. Joey was an interesting mixture of reprobate and seemingly nice guy and I wanted to know more of his backstory.
But by about page 48 (of 109) when Amy squeezed into the "Deader den" the story kind of lost me. I freely admit that I'm not a big horror fan so maybe it's just that I don't understand the genre. Amy was tough, resourceful and smart, but from here on there was no contest Winter was simply too strong. Not that there weren't more weird (and creepy) scenes, but everything was too "easily" bleak and hopelessly "dreamlike." Kind of like Alice falling into a nightmare mirror world that you knew she was never going to get out of.

I never felt Amy could have won, no matter what she did. I was hoping Joey would make an appearance, or maybe Larry or Bud. Something to even the odds a little, something that would allow Amy to use her skills rather then just being a victim. I did like the ending scene, however and perhaps I'm missing Amy's "victory" of sorts.
Just my 1/2 cent worth.

RonB
"There's a story there...somewhere"

NMS script for DEADER (Spoilers)

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