Nineteen things that took me almost 50 years to learn

0 Nineteen things that took me almost 50 years to learn 02br
02br
00By Dave Barry 02br
02br
001. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 02br
02br
002. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be meetings. 02br
02br
003. There is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness. 02br
02br
004. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 02br
02br
005. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle. 02br
02br
006. You should not confuse your career with your life. 02br
02br
007. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. 02br
02br
008. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. 02br
02br
009. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. 02br
02br
0010. Never lick a steak knife. 02br
02br
0011. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie. 02br
02br
0012. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip. 02br
02br
0013. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. 02br
02br
0014. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. 02br
02br
0015. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven. 02br
02br
0016. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. 02br
02br
0017. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them. 02br
02br
0018. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.) 02br
02br
0019. Your friends love you anyway. 02br
02br
00Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic. 0-