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Abil Posted 15 years ago
Grammar
Negotiated the amount
The 50-year-old was held hostage after the group took him from X market on 9 December, telling him that they had something to discuss with him.
The next day the group demanded $ 100,000 from his wife for his release and asked her to pay the money by 12 December.
His wife duly contacted the hostage takers and negotiated a deal that he would be freed on payment of $ 50,000.
or, His wife duly contacted the hostage takers and negotiated the amount at $ 50,000.
Are there any mistakes or room for improvement? Thanks
The next day the group demanded $ 100,000 from his wife for his release and asked her to pay the money by 12 December.
His wife duly contacted the hostage takers and negotiated a deal that he would be freed on payment of $ 50,000.
or, His wife duly contacted the hostage takers and negotiated the amount at $ 50,000.
Are there any mistakes or room for improvement? Thanks
Top answer
Ah, there's always room for improvement, but I think it's fine. The longer version of the last sentence is a bit more entertaining, but there's nothing wrong with the short one. " "Duly" suggests "appropriately," but there's a link missing in the story, by which the group contacts the wife.
- Ah, there's always room for improvement, but I think it's fine.
- The longer version of the last sentence is a bit more entertaining, but there's nothing wrong with the short one.
- " "Duly" suggests "appropriately," but there's a link missing in the story, by which the group contacts the wife.
- We want to know about it.
- ) Hmm, I'm not making myself clear.
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4 Answers
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Ah, there's always room for improvement, but I think it's fine.
The longer version of the last sentence is a bit more entertaining, but there's nothing wrong with the short one.
You say the wife duly contacted the hostages, but the group only "demanded etc."
"Duly" suggests "appropriately," but there's a link missing in the story, by which the group contacts the wife. We want to
The longer version of the last sentence is a bit more entertaining, but there's nothing wrong with the short one.
You say the wife duly contacted the hostages, but the group only "demanded etc."
"Duly" suggests "appropriately," but there's a link missing in the story, by which the group contacts the wife. We want to
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Thanks Avangi. I also don't know how the hostage takers made contact with his wife. I just wrote what I had been told. This is one of the main reasons why the story has missing links.
Another reason is that I also did not write well. The guy was not held hostage at the market. He was duped and taken away from there. The group members told him that they had something to discuss with him a
Another reason is that I also did not write well. The guy was not held hostage at the market. He was duped and taken away from there. The group members told him that they had something to discuss with him a
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AbilThe 50-year-old was held hostage after the group took him from X market on 9 December, telling him that they had something to discuss with him.
AbilSo do you think the first line in my original post does match with this scene?Actually, that's pretty much the way I read it.
"To take someone somewhere" does
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No force was used when he was taken from the market place.
In fact, I was more worried about my grammar than the ambiguity of the story. Thanks Avangi.
In fact, I was more worried about my grammar than the ambiguity of the story. Thanks Avangi.
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