Need your help (report about "the last song")

I had to write a text about "The Last Song", a book that I have been reading.
The thing is, I shared my book into 5 parts. And I had to write 5 reports.
And she corrected it and gave it back to us. And now we all have to correct all of the reports again and hand it out like a little book to her. Now, I wrote the second part again, because I noticed that I got it wrong. And I don't want to get a bad mark. That's why I wrote it again. But the problem now is.... she didn't correct this one, because I have just written it, and if she notice that there are mistakes, she will notice that I did it again (or she thinks that I haven't done my homework- to correct it)

So I would be grateful if anyone could correct it. I'm not a native speaker, so there will be some mistakes.
It's not a long text... It will take you like 5-10 minutes.

Thank you!!

here it is:

The Last Song- Second week

The main person in my book is Ronnie. For me her character is actually very credible. She’s very strict with herself (For example: She said she won’t play the piano again, and she hasn’t even done it yet). All the little things she has and does make her more real, the purple streak in her hair, the black fingernail polish and even the card clothing. She’s in a very teenage phase. But there isn’t only the ‘dark’ side of her. She’s a sociable person, too (for example if her young brother has problems with math, she’s there). The only thing that makes her not that real is how she acts if she gets angry. Me as a reader thought that she’s too kind. She should scream out loud, because that would fit to the pissed-off-girl Ronnie.
Another point that makes her real is her egoism. She doesn’t care if someone be hurt by her words or by her actions she does. Ronnie has a strong personality, which can be good or bad. Good is, for example, she doesn’t do drugs or drink even though all her friends do. Worse is, for example, that she doesn’t mind what other people think of her. (She starts caring as soon as she got to know Will’s parents.)

All those little things contribute that she’s like a real person. She’s not only Ronnie from a book. She’s Ronnie from the real life.

Steve, her father, is realistic, too. He regrets everything that happened with his family and he hopes that everything is going to be okay. That shows he has got a heart. And I think also a normal person would regret that and hope it’s going to change. That’s one thing, which makes him real. He kept sending her letters and tried talking to her, so he’s the kind of person who doesn’t give up rapidly. Another point, which can be like in true life.

Even though the other persons of the story haven’t been described or appeared much yet, they must be real as well, because if they weren’t, it wouldn’t have been made into a film.