[NEED YOUR HELP FOR MY IELTS WRITING TASK 2]

Topic: Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career,
while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give
your opinion.

My essay:

It is apparent that after graduating from schools, highschoolers, with no doubt, face the dilemma of whether to pursue higher education or not. While some people opine that attending universities or colleges is key to decent jobs, other strongly embrace that students should involve in the labor force as soon as they leave high schools. Personally, I lean towards the former.

On the one hand, there are sufficient grounds for a host of people to contend that attending higher education is not of essence. To begin with, a number of students might desire to earn money right after school graduation with an aim to share the monetary burden with parents. In fact, students who have poor financial backgrounds could ill afford to enroll in universities due to high rate of school fees. In addition to this, it is undeniable that working as an employee could enrich youngsters' hands-on experiences and also cultivate relevant practical job skills, which facilitate their career path. Specifically, by having an opportunity to try divergent types of job from the young age, people might be able to soon recognize their real passions, thereby boosting working efficiency and climbing the career ladder.

On the other hand, there are also compelling reasons for me to advocate the great significance of tertiary schooling. Firstly academic certificates are required by a vast majority of businesses for white-collar professions. In other words, university's degree might work as a passport for graduates to land lucrative jobs since their knowledge and qualifications are proved via academic performances. Another justification is that university or college offer a superb foundation for students to hone their soft skills. Obviously, by engaging in a wide range of activities and tasks at school the young are able to equip themselves with essential skills such as teamwork or leadership, which are highly appreciated by recent recruiters. Hence, higher-educated candidates can stand out from those who exclusively finished high school education in such a intensively competitive labor market.

By and large, I would reaffirm that young generation had better attend tertiary schooling for a brighter future due to aforementioned justifications.

PLEASE LET ME KNOW MY SCOREBAND IF POSSIBLE.

I AM IN DIRE NEED OF YOUR FEEDBACKS.

THANKS A MILLION !!