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WANG CHUN Posted 22 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Need your help

This is a homework.
I am not sure whehter all sentences are right or not. If you find something wrong in the sentences, help me to correct them and then give me some critical suggestions.
Thank you very much

The subject is that The twentieth century saw great change. In your opinion, what is one change that should be remembered about the twentieth century?

What is the great change in the twentieth century? In my opinion, computer that should be remembered because it has been changing not only the way of life of people, but also the way of contact information. Two reasons for my position go as follow.

To begin with, it is computer that makes people's life easier and convenient. As everybody knows, computer technologies really make people’s life easier.For example, through computer technologies, people can use household appliances such as washing machines and vacuum cleaner, helping them to do chores less labor than before. Besides, people who are busy with working can pay their regular bill through computer Internet without waste of time. Moreover, with the development of computer, people can withdraw their money at any time instead of lining up at bank. Moreover,There is no doubt that computer leads people to live much easier and more convenient than in the past.

In addition, it is computer Internet that enables people to reach the latest information from all over the world. In other words, what people receive can help them understand the ever-changing world. As is known, tens of thousands websites provide people with the diverse information. Take my experience for example; my teacher assigned a paper to me. I can't find any textbook and reference book in library because the paper topic was a new theory that no one came up with in that time. Then, my teacher suggested me that you should try to find something new on the Internet. Therefore, I surfed the Internet to collect some relevant information on this paper. Actially, computer Internet makes it possible for people to gain the newest information or documents that don't be released.

To conclusion, while some people don't agree computer should be remembered about the twentieth century, I think It is computer that furnishs people with a variety of information and makes people's life easier and convenient.
  

Top answer

Just the glaring errors. I highlighted some of them so you can correct them yourself. What is the great (use a superlative: try greatest) change in the twentieth century?

  • Just the glaring errors.
  • I highlighted some of them so you can correct them yourself.
  • What is the great (use a superlative: try greatest) change in the twentieth century?
  • ) that (delete 'that") should be remembered because it has been changing not only the way of life of people, but also the way of contact information.
  • Two reasons for my position go (are) as follow s .
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2 Answers
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Just the glaring errors. I highlighted some of them so you can correct them yourself.

What is the great (use a superlative: try
greatest) change in the twentieth century? In my opinion, computer
(just 1?) that
(delete 'that") should be remembered
because it has been changing not only the way of life of people,
but also the way of contact information. T
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Hello julielai
I have known where I have to correct them.
Thank you for your help.
**** CHUN

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