Need to correct my SOP "very urgent"

Can  you guys check this out please........

here is my sop:

"I would like to apply for the European joint Masters in “Management and Engineering of Environment and Energy” under Erasmus Mundus Scholarship program. My purpose in this statement is to present my reasons for choosing this program as well as to give brief descriptions of my academic background, objectives and career goals.

First of all, I would like to introduce myself briefly. I have completed my graduation from the Department of Applied Physics, Electronics and Communication Engineering, University of Dhaka and now I am continuing my masters in the same department. My department basically deals with electronics, communication, and semiconductor physics with a significant exposure on renewable and sustainable energies. Actually Environment and Energy is not the only field where I developed my intense interest to continue my career ahead; but there are some strong reasons for which I want to.

Basically, my country, Bangladesh is a developing country from the third world, where energy problem is a severe one. ”If we talk about infrastructure, supply of energy is now the biggest problem in Bangladesh” – as said by said Anisul Huq, the President of Federation of Bangladesh Chambers of Commerce and Industry (FBCCI). A large amount of time in our country (especially in summer) we have to face load shedding i.e. power failure from the national grid, which is obviously a major obstacle in the growth of a country in all aspects. Again the available energy sources are not also environment friendly. As a result Bangladesh, especially Dhaka is one of the most severely polluted cities in the world and it is also the place where I lived my 25 years. So, as a natural consequence, I want to study in a subject like environment and energy engineering and management so that I can get back to my country completing my studies and apply my knowledge and skills to alter the concurrent situation. In fact, I was pretty interested in renewable energies during my graduation and had a plan to research on highly efficient low cost solar cells using the art of semiconductor technology. But, I never thought of such a subject like yours. It was beyond my imagination and after a close inspection (learning outcomes and course syllabus from your web) I found this one to be more than perfect for me. The words - “It aims at offering a well-balanced education to future engineers and managers having the adequate skills to solve environmental and energy issues through an integrated approach, combining technological development and innovations together with the consideration of human, social and economic constraints” truly influenced me to take this decision.

Again, this Erasmus Course opens up a lot of doors for me. I can be in more than two European countries along with a high quality study during this two years masters program. Seeing different countries, meeting different kinds of people, adopting new cultures, different technologies have always been a dream for me. Hence, I am really excited to be a part of your program.

Besides, the world is running out of its usable energies, as the experts predict the energy demand will drastically increase in near future especially because of the spectacular industrial and economic growth. Energy sources and their impact on environment is a global issue; there are a lot of working scopes, research opportunities in this field. Therefore, it is my aim to have my further studies in this field and based on how things develop, to pursue a research carrier.

The related fields of interest during my graduation are Semiconductor Technology, Solar Energy, Material Science, Control Engineering, Industrial Instruments, Power Electronics, Solid State Devices, Heat Engineering and Vacuum Techniques, Properties of Matter and Applied Mechanics etc. Currently I am being through a MS course - “Renewable Energy Technology”. I also have a profound knowledge in mathematics and statistics. Though I merely know about Accounting, Finance, Management and Strategy (basically all of the 1^st semester courses), I am quite confident that I have the sufficient fundamentals to continue this program successfully. Besides, I do not have any issues with my English.

As a person I am an energetic and effective individual. I am a quick learner and always enjoyed challenges throughout my academic life. I do not know the way my teachers recommended me to you, but to be a little frank, I was never one of those serious persons who devote all of them up to their academic studies and career development. I am rather a fun loving person, love to participate in different sorts of activities like sports, music, movies, cultural programs etc.

To summarize, I can state that I am sure of how much I want to pursue this career, and I believe “me3” under Erasmus Mundus can be a great start. Energy and Environment is a very demanding subject for the current world. I am also aware of the competition for obtaining the Erasmus scholarship is fierce, but I believe my academic background, career goal and motivation make me a strong candidate. 

Thanks for considering my application and for your time. "

If you can correct this statement and suggest me to how to improve, I will be highly obliged............
Thanks.........