Need someone help: Please correct my cover letter

I would like apply a job in credit analysis ,please correct it to me

111 As Rd.,

bby ,bkk

Dear Sir,



I am writing this letter to apply for the credit analysis position in response to your advertisement in Jobsdb.com.



I graduated from KH and hold a bachelors degree from the faculty of Economics, with a major in Business Economics. I then challenged myself with my own Vietnamese Food business. This gave me a great opportunity to enhance my entrepreneurship.I have learned a real business, including marketing and sales, problem solving and dealing with department store.



In addition, I had been employed as customer service representative (credit anaysis) in Citi Group.I was responsible for credit analysis in both consumer and commercial finance,loan collection and maintain relationship with customers.

I believe that my experience,analytical skills and commercial sense and also keep track of ecomic situation would be an asset to your company.



An opportunity to discuss my abilities and skills and how I can help your company would be most welcome. I appreciate your consideration and look forward to meeting you.



Yours faithfully,







Enclosure: Resume