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Haloony Posted 17 years ago
Grammar
Need some sentence help
Hey Guys,
I was wondering how I can fix this sentence:
"Taking drowning in perspective, according to the WHO, 175,000 children died from drowning in 2004, and so, your saving one extra child is a rather futile attempt at solving a much larger problem."
I think it sounds pretty clumsy, but I do not know how to fix it.
Thank You,
Hal
I was wondering how I can fix this sentence:
"Taking drowning in perspective, according to the WHO, 175,000 children died from drowning in 2004, and so, your saving one extra child is a rather futile attempt at solving a much larger problem."
I think it sounds pretty clumsy, but I do not know how to fix it.
Thank You,
Hal
Top answer
" I think it sounds pretty clumsy, but I do not know how to fix it. Perhaps this. Two simpler sentences are often better that one large and clumsy one.
- " I think it sounds pretty clumsy, but I do not know how to fix it.
- Perhaps this.
- Two simpler sentences are often better that one large and clumsy one.
- "According to (the) WHO, 175,000 children died from drowning in 2004.
- " Best wishes, Clive.
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1 Answers
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Hi,
I was wondering how I can fix this sentence:
"Taking drowning in perspective, according to the WHO, 175,000 children died from drowning in 2004, and so, your saving one extra child is a rather futile attempt at solving a much larger problem."
I think it sounds pretty clumsy, but I do not know how to fix it.
Perhaps this. Two simpler sentences are
I was wondering how I can fix this sentence:
"Taking drowning in perspective, according to the WHO, 175,000 children died from drowning in 2004, and so, your saving one extra child is a rather futile attempt at solving a much larger problem."
I think it sounds pretty clumsy, but I do not know how to fix it.
Perhaps this. Two simpler sentences are
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