0
Anonymous Posted 19 years ago
Grammar
need some help with my correction...
0 Can some pleeas help me..check if something is wrong.. 02 br
02 br
02 br
02 br
00 There was upon a time a girl named Julie. She always was the girl men like; beautiful and sexy. One day she meets Mustafa at the Taliban massivstruckterweapon store. Mustafa were the leader of tazii crazy, the biggest gangs in 00 . They both fell in love. They had a romantic date together at the beach. They ate spaggati and tandori chicken, and they were starting to make up and made love. The got married. and happily lived together. They lived a quite life outside of 00 . After a while Julie gets pregnant. The 31 mars the baby was born. Is a boy no is a girl no it’s a monkey. What happened? Julie gave birth to a monkey? It shocked everyone at the hospital. Two weeks after Julie dies from AIDS. It was a sad week for Mustafa. Mustafa raise the monkey and gave it to the zoo. It become a famous tourist attraction”The human monkey”. Mustafa got rich and wealthy. But wait, Julie wakes up again from the death. How did this happen. Julie tells:” I didn’t die. I was on vacation with your brother Astaff”. Mustafa gets divorced from Julie. Mustafa started to like men. Was he bisexual? 00 00 00 02 br
02 br
00 But one day Julie finds out that Mustafa is bisexual and he has an affair with Tony Blair, The minister. But Mustafa’s plan was to kill him. Julie gets angry and slaps Mustafa in the face. Mustafa got some feelings for Blair. They got married and adopted a girl from 01 02 00 . She got the name; shara akhmed blaa blair. The both master brains behind politic and weapons concluded one thing. A girl has come to rule the world. SHARA Akhmed blaa became the head leder of Al quaida. 0-
02 br
02 br
02 br
00 There was upon a time a girl named Julie. She always was the girl men like; beautiful and sexy. One day she meets Mustafa at the Taliban massivstruckterweapon store. Mustafa were the leader of tazii crazy, the biggest gangs in 00 . They both fell in love. They had a romantic date together at the beach. They ate spaggati and tandori chicken, and they were starting to make up and made love. The got married. and happily lived together. They lived a quite life outside of 00 . After a while Julie gets pregnant. The 31 mars the baby was born. Is a boy no is a girl no it’s a monkey. What happened? Julie gave birth to a monkey? It shocked everyone at the hospital. Two weeks after Julie dies from AIDS. It was a sad week for Mustafa. Mustafa raise the monkey and gave it to the zoo. It become a famous tourist attraction”The human monkey”. Mustafa got rich and wealthy. But wait, Julie wakes up again from the death. How did this happen. Julie tells:” I didn’t die. I was on vacation with your brother Astaff”. Mustafa gets divorced from Julie. Mustafa started to like men. Was he bisexual? 00 00 00 02 br
02 br
00 But one day Julie finds out that Mustafa is bisexual and he has an affair with Tony Blair, The minister. But Mustafa’s plan was to kill him. Julie gets angry and slaps Mustafa in the face. Mustafa got some feelings for Blair. They got married and adopted a girl from 01 02 00 . She got the name; shara akhmed blaa blair. The both master brains behind politic and weapons concluded one thing. A girl has come to rule the world. SHARA Akhmed blaa became the head leder of Al quaida. 0-
Top answer
0 Hello there, 02 br 02 br 00 Your story is not logical at all; it has many unexplained sequences of events that have to be organized. I cannot fix what you have, but I'll give you a few tips. Try revising it using correct tenses explaining yourself and describing the setting in detail showing the reader the picture.
- 0 Hello there, 02 br 02 br 00 Your story is not logical at all; it has many unexplained sequences of events that have to be organized.
- I cannot fix what you have, but I'll give you a few tips.
- Try revising it using correct tenses explaining yourself and describing the setting in detail showing the reader the picture.
- There is so much happening in the story that you have to consider writing a little more or removing some of the material.
- There is a lot if irrelevant material.
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
1 Answers
0
0 Hello there, 02 br
02 br
00 Your story is not logical at all; it has many unexplained sequences of events that have to be organized. I cannot fix what you have, but I'll give you a few tips. Try revising it using correct tenses explaining yourself and describing the setting in detail showing the reader the picture. There is so much happening in the story that you have to con
02 br
00 Your story is not logical at all; it has many unexplained sequences of events that have to be organized. I cannot fix what you have, but I'll give you a few tips. Try revising it using correct tenses explaining yourself and describing the setting in detail showing the reader the picture. There is so much happening in the story that you have to con
0
Related Questions