Need some feedback on my Letter of motivation

Hi, I am writing a letter of motivation as a part of an application to a PhD scholarship in a translational research project.
This is my 4th draft of the letter, and I am hoping for some feedback on the format and the content. This will go alongside my Resume and my Grade card.

----
Dear Selection Committee,
I would like to apply for the "PhD scholarship in synthetic biology tools for cell factory development" at SBTY, Biosustain DTU. The scholarship will help me build a core competency in synthetic biology and give me an opportunity to network with like-minded colleagues to spin-off a company based upon our research.

At a young age, learning of Darwin’s theory of evolution, demystified biology for me. I came to look at biology as a chemical reaction, albeit at a grand and complex scale. This mechanistic perspective was very helpful while I worked on my Master’s thesis. My colleagues had collected data suggesting that the nutraceutical Gentiana lutea modulated inflammatory response on a cellular level, through a particular cellular signaling pathway. I learnt how to perform molecular docking, and screened possible interactions between the active components of the nutraceutical and the signaling proteins. Once I identified a putative binding interaction, I performed molecular dynamic simulations to understand how the binding would change the protein structure and hence its function. This helped me develop a theory of the molecular mechanism of action of Gentiana lutea. Further experiments by my colleagues corroborated this theory with in-vivo and in-vitro data. This project was an experience in the bottom-up approach to research, where I began with data and built a model to explain my observations. I felt that the impact of this approach was limited and slow.

I thus decided to experience an application oriented, top-down approach to research by working as a Scientist at XXX firm. One of the projects I worked on was developing an immunofluorescence-based assay for diagnosing tuberculosis, on our proprietary fluorescence platform. One of the major roadblocks in this project was the unavailability of validated and specific antibodies to Mycobacterium tuberculosis, the causative organism of TB. I crossed this barrier by identifying a long-forgotten and little cited antibody that was developed and patented in 1996, as a neutralizing antibody for vaccines. I conveyed my research to my team, and convinced them to procure and test it as a detection antibody. I worked with hundreds of pathogenic samples for optimizing and testing the assay, based on which we internally validated the assay. We are currently productizing it for market evaluation. While working on the problem given to me, I realized that the framing of the problem limited the time-to-market and the impact of the product. I thus convinced my business development team to support us in modifying the microbiology staining reagents for microscopy, which have not changed significantly for over a century. The innovation allowed us to package the reagents in a format that improved the performance of a well-validated TB diagnostic tool, and made it more field friendly. This is now one of our flagship products and we believe will be a market success. Thanks to my passion for research I achieved the product vision, and had the flexibility to improve the vision itself.

Through my work, I demonstrated a strong ability for independent research. I identified the problems, and identified the right tools required for the problem, and learnt how to use them with minimal guidance. I also worked in teams, delegating responsibilities to members who were better equipped than I was, and taking up responsibilities that I was better equipped for. Where possible, I helped my colleagues better understand the science and expand their skills. In this way, I was a crucial and catalyzing member of my team.

By pursuing a PhD at the ABC center, XYZ university, I hope to be a part of and eventually build one such multi-disciplinary team, which promises to expand humanity’s understanding and ability of engineering genetic material. The problem that I hope to work on is the development of a genetically engineered system that allows us to re-route the human food chain by allowing us to access natural resources like coal as a raw material for nutrition. I am not clear on the details of how we, as humanity will achieve this, or even if we can or should. I am however certain of my next step, which will take me closer to making my dream a reality.

I want to work on developing methods to better manipulate and study genetic material with the ABC group. The strong industrial and translational focus of the center, will allow me to see immediate application of my research, and fuel my motivation. My research shows that Doctoral students from XYZ university have a high probability of spining-off companies, which I want to pursue after a PhD. In addition, the quality and pace of life in Denmark, and the sophistication of the Danish society promises an immersive and life-changing experience.
Thank you for your time and consideration. Looking forward to a positive response,

Yours Sincerely,

Avaneesh T

-----

I hope to do atleast 2-3 drafts more of the letter before I send it out with my application. Any feedback at all will be greately appreaciated.
I am particularly nervous about the lack of continuity and flow in the letter. I am also not sure I have talk enough about my reserach, which is however already mentioned in my CV.

Thanks in advance,
Avaneesh T