Need Help with this sentences

Question

0 Hello, I'm newbie here and I'm having problems completing my paper.So,I would like to ask any of you that can help me check this sentences.What do you think about this sentences:02br00 """02br02br00Urban systems nowadays explicitly are becoming huge  and increasingly complex as urban economies, social and political structures  and norms, transportation and other infrastructure systems and technologies  keep evolve00. It is a three-dimensional (3D)  representative to visualize the urban area and becoming an important tool for  urban planners or architects in order to propose design and development of the  city. While the tools for visualize the urban simulation and technology are  growing at rapid phase, it’s become useful to speed the process of development.  Hence, with urban simulation, we can reduced design flaws, grasp the concepts  better and understood sooner, and the best things are, development budget can  be targeted earlier with the help of this 3D visualization tool before  construction phase. 02br02br02br02br00Real  time simulation bring the product which is urban simulation in effective way  closer to both the designer and the client to completely understand a building  very well before construction of the building takes place. Despite the fact  that many companies use 3D visualization technology as their interactive  presentation tool, urban simulation clearly gives a better idea to envision all  phases of an architectural project from earlier design to the last phase of  construction and preservation. 00So,  it is very important for us to have a simulation that represented a city that  can be used as a tool for urban planning for future development, computer  games, and many more. Furthermore, urban simulation has a lot of beneficial to  the researchers especially in term of producing a good 3D simulation for user  to be able to feel how the city looks from different perspectives.02br02br00 ""02br02br00I need help for grammar and sentences structure.02br02br00p/s - sorry, I'm still studying and improving my english. 0-

Nona the brit · Accepted Answer

0Hello, welcome to the forum. No need to say sorry - that's what we are here for 05002br
02br
00You have quite a few problems but nothing major and you are certainly understandable, so you are getting there! 02br
02br
00I'd say your main problems are 02br
02br
00verb tenses - for example 'technologies keep evolve' should be 'keep evolving'. 02br
02br
00confusing nouns with adjectives - for example 'a lot of beneficial' should be 'a lot of benefit'. 02br
02br
00I've underlined these and other problematic areas. Some of your phrasing is clumsy and other areas are incorrect. I'm also not sure if you are discussing a specific software or this type of software in general - you may need to phrase things differently accordingly.02br
02br
00Urban systems nowadays 01u00explicitly02u00 are becoming huge and increasingly complex as urban economies, social and political structures and norms, transportation and other infrastructure systems and technologies 01u00keep evolve02u00. It is a three-dimensional (3D) 01u00representative to visualize02u00 the urban area and (01u00is) becoming02u00 an important tool for urban planners 01u00or02u00 architects 01u00in order to propose02u00 design and development of the city. While the tools 01u00for visualize the02u00 urban simulation and technology are growing 01u00at rapid phase02u00, it’s (don't use contractions in formal writing) become useful to speed the process of development. Hence, with urban simulation, we can reduced design flaws, grasp the concepts better and 01u00understood sooner02u00, 01u00and the best things are, development budget can be targeted earlier with the help of this 3D visualization tool before construction phase. 02u02br
02br
00Real time simulation 01u00bring the product which is urban simulation in effective way closer to both the designer and the client to completely understand a building very well 02u00before construction of the building takes place. Despite the fact that many companies use 3D visualization technology as their interactive presentation tool, urban simulation clearly gives a 01u00better idea to envision02u00 all phases of an architectural project from 01u00earlier 02u00design to the last phase of construction and 01u00preservation02u00. 00So, it is very important for us to have a simulation that 01u00represented 02u00a city that can be used as a tool for urban planning for future development, computer games, and 01u00many more.02u00 Furthermore, urban simulation has a lot of 01u00beneficial 02u00to 01u00the02u00 researchers especially in 01u00term02u00 of producing a good 3D simulation 01u00for user02u00 to be able to 01u00feel 02u00how the city looks from different perspectives.010id1

Goodman · Answer

0I agree with Nona. Your sentence structure needs much improvements.00 00I think part of the problem is that you intend to create a sophsiticated tone using big words in your writing but not quite mastering the skills as yet. As a result, your writing was entangled with wrong usage and ended up in confusing contexts. 02br
02br
00As already indicated by Nona, your essay appeared to me as well a messy and bewildering description of an “urban environment” which lead the readers to wonder what the essence of your essay really was. I am not sure it’s your style but there is quite a bit of “abstractivism” in your writing. Good writing should paint a vivid 00 00picture of what the author tries to convey in words. To improve, first we have to learn how to clearly state something without having the reader to guess, and then improve on the choice of words and sentence sturcture. That’s my opinion.0-

Razorjr · Answer

0 Thanks for the comment.I think I'd better start learning how to produce nice sentence structure.I'd already done some corrections and with the help from both of you and of course; my supervisor (He corrected my 1st page of my paper for 3 hours!!). 0-

Need Help with this sentences

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions