need help with prologue

Question

Hello guys, I made a prolouge for a game story that have some kind of pokemon theme..please check my grammar error, thanks

In this world there are creatures who loves to fight, they battle each other to be the best fighter. But they can't battle without command and strategy , it's the job of people whose called commander to command them and train them to be the best monster/fighter. Now can you lead your monsters to victory?

Gigilian Nguyen · Accepted Answer

Hello Agus Yunanto,
I am just a fan of Pokemon, so I decided to reply this post when I came accross it.

It seems to be a good pologue. There are just some things that need to be corrected to make your writing better:

In this world, there are creatures who ~~loves~~ love to fight, they battle each other to be the best fighters.

But they can't battle without command and strategy. (You'd better use commands and strategies, because there are many fights, not just one, and every fight needs an own speacial strategy.)

~~it's~~ Commanding fighters and making strategies are the jobs of people ~~whose~~ called commanders.

to command them and train them to be the best monster/fighter (I'd have it as: Commanders comman their monsters/fighters and train them to be the best ones.)
Now, can you lead your monsters to victory?

GN

Agus Yunanto · Answer

Thanks Gigilian! It really seems better..
I need to improve my grammars..hope this forum could help me out

Gigilian Nguyen · Answer

You're very welcome

Are you a fan of Pokemon? I love Pokemon

need help with prologue

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