Need Help with Persuasive Essay

Hello, this is my first thread/post on this forum and I have come here to ask for help on a certain persuasive essay I have to write within 35minutes (yes, quite worrying).

I have deeply studied the structure of persuasive essays and I have amde pages of information on them. Since I have only got 35minutes on the whole thing I have only created a short introduction and conclusion, the two most important things since they need to be brief and concise. My main body of text supporting my thesis will be created later. At the moment I just need advice on these.

My topic is: "A sports centre is closing, another sports centre is 20km away. Write a persuasive letter proposing that this sports centre should not be closed.!

I originally thought that the topic would be introducing daily excercise into a school curriculum so please forgive me. Also this is for a Year 9 exam but I still would appreciate it if no one would hold back since I really do strive to achieve the best.

Introduction:
"Our health always seems much more valuable when we lose it." Children and adolescents have become dependant on near to no food to create what they desire the most. Their Image. Add that to the growth of technology and transport to create an 'easier' life and you have a major catastrophe. Children are turning anarexic and bulemic due to peer pressure and the media. If they are unable to follow this lifestyle than they succumb to an empty life of bullying and humiliation. All of these problems can be combated by one thing. Fitness. Daily excercise is wondrous. It can boos brain-power, melt away stress and give energy and stamina. On top of this it can provide an active social life and help you eat more. I suggest that we dedicate forty minutes of school to training daily. As a team we can encourage and help the less able, become even better as we challenge each other and ultimately achieve our goal. Health. Excercise has been proved to change people's lives for the good.

Conclusion
With these activities we can help people with the healthier way to an active social lifestyle, we can draw them out of the confines of bullying and we can boost our self-confidence and self-esteem. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle with all our distractions and obligations is possible. Without sacrifice. The time used in fitness is easily replaced with pupil's new found spriteness, concentration and overall academic improvement, and their own personal lives with sociality and preventation of illnesses. Fitness combats bullying. Fitness helps mental activity. Fitness provides vitality. "Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live."

On a final note please forgive me if I have spelling or grammar mistakes since I have been touch typing but remid me all the same. Please make constructive comments on how to take my work to a higher level.

~A hopeful person. Cyfer.