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Anonymous Posted 20 years ago
Letter Writing
Need help with motivation letter for university
Hi, may be somebody has time to read this letter - this is my first motivation where I want to apply for university. What you think of it? Any suggestions to immprove it? Or it is unusable? I need your advice... I have read many articles how to write an ideal motivation letter but i still don't get it....
Dear Mr John E Mellor,
Having a huge interest in computers and IT and tremendous will to explore this field, I wish to apply for an exciting and forward-looking Undergraduate Computer Science Course at your university in September 2006.
A year ago I started looking for a university and worked out several criteria for an institution of higher education I would like to go to. I have been determined and motivated to find best university according to my criteria. I collected all the information that was available for me and asked others to get me some in case it wasn’t reachable. I spend a lot of time in the internet seeking for any valuable information and reading university guides, contacted with people who could help me somehow, organized my friends and acquaintances to search for an information because it was also valuable for them. We became a team with strong core that was aspiring after our common aim challenging all the difficulties and never giving up. Success was obvious – soon we found some universities that perfectly fitted my criteria. Congratulations, yours university is one of them! This example ideally reflects some of my characteristic qualities: highly- motivated, very effective and helpful team player, ambitious, with a huge perseverance level, somebody who gets what he wants and who understands an invaluable importance of information and communication in the XXI century, somebody who realizes full potential of information technology nowadays and in the immediate future.
During the last five years, I have been studying in the Riga State Gymnasium No.1. It is located in the center of Riga – capital of Latvia and this school is regarded as the best in the country because it excels in highly skilled teachers, completely different approach of tuition and excellent teaching quality. Mathematics, Computers, Physics and English are subjects, which are taught profoundly in this school therefore I can surely admit that I am particularly good at these subjects. I also have several hobbies such as programming, exploring hardware and software components of the PC and solving different math problems what makes me the right person for the career in Computer Science.
Please feel free to contact me if you require any further details or documents. I hope to hear from you in the near future.
Yours sincerely,
Dear Mr John E Mellor,
Having a huge interest in computers and IT and tremendous will to explore this field, I wish to apply for an exciting and forward-looking Undergraduate Computer Science Course at your university in September 2006.
A year ago I started looking for a university and worked out several criteria for an institution of higher education I would like to go to. I have been determined and motivated to find best university according to my criteria. I collected all the information that was available for me and asked others to get me some in case it wasn’t reachable. I spend a lot of time in the internet seeking for any valuable information and reading university guides, contacted with people who could help me somehow, organized my friends and acquaintances to search for an information because it was also valuable for them. We became a team with strong core that was aspiring after our common aim challenging all the difficulties and never giving up. Success was obvious – soon we found some universities that perfectly fitted my criteria. Congratulations, yours university is one of them! This example ideally reflects some of my characteristic qualities: highly- motivated, very effective and helpful team player, ambitious, with a huge perseverance level, somebody who gets what he wants and who understands an invaluable importance of information and communication in the XXI century, somebody who realizes full potential of information technology nowadays and in the immediate future.
During the last five years, I have been studying in the Riga State Gymnasium No.1. It is located in the center of Riga – capital of Latvia and this school is regarded as the best in the country because it excels in highly skilled teachers, completely different approach of tuition and excellent teaching quality. Mathematics, Computers, Physics and English are subjects, which are taught profoundly in this school therefore I can surely admit that I am particularly good at these subjects. I also have several hobbies such as programming, exploring hardware and software components of the PC and solving different math problems what makes me the right person for the career in Computer Science.
Please feel free to contact me if you require any further details or documents. I hope to hear from you in the near future.
Yours sincerely,
Top answer
Your leter is a bit long; hence, I have only corrected the first paragraph. With these comments in the back of your head, you should be able to improve the other paragraphs, too! There are some things that sound a bit strange to my ears.
- Your leter is a bit long; hence, I have only corrected the first paragraph.
- With these comments in the back of your head, you should be able to improve the other paragraphs, too!
- There are some things that sound a bit strange to my ears.
- I have highlighted them.
- g.
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1 Answers
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Your leter is a bit long; hence, I have only corrected the first paragraph. With these comments in the back of your head, you should be able to improve the other paragraphs, too!
There are some things that sound a bit strange to my ears. I have highlighted them. Please remember that you should not contract words in formal letters, e.g. "wasn't" should be "was not".
I suggest rem
There are some things that sound a bit strange to my ears. I have highlighted them. Please remember that you should not contract words in formal letters, e.g. "wasn't" should be "was not".
I suggest rem
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