need help with following paragraph. thank you!

Question

Catalyst drying and packaging unit, monitor calciner drying unit, make adjustments to calciner when product is out of spec., monitor components associated with production on calciner, inlet hopper, comil, sweco, tracking on calciner belt, pollution control devices. Package catalyst per S.O.I, record data on log from instruments and gauges, drew sample of product for analysis to aid in process adjustments and implement GMP and 5S's, assisted co-workers when needed. Inspect and operate forklift.

Fivejedjon · Accepted Answer

This is incomprehensible at the moment. Are you trying to make a list of tasks you have carried out? If so, start a new line for each task, and make sure that each line has a verb. If not, please try to tell us what you are trying to do.

Anonymous · Answer

yes, trying to paragraph tasks that I have carried out.  Thank you so much for responding!

EngJack · Answer

Hi. I'm a native American-English speaker. I have an engineering background, formerly as a process engineer intern and currently as an environmental regulator. I think I can help you.

Right now it reads like a list of items in a series. First, separate each item with semicolons, because the phrases comprising your items are complex enough to contain commas. Second, keep each phrase consistent; currently some are verb phrases and some aren't. Let's make them all gerund phrases, for consistency. If you don't want to just list them out as bullet points, try this:

My duties included working with the catalyst drying and packaging unit; monitoring the calciner drying unit; making adjustments to the calciner to correct out-of-spec product; and monitoring production components on the calciner, the inlet hopper, the COMIL, the SWECO, the calciner belt tracker, and the pollution control devices. Other duties consisted of packaging catalysts per S.O.I.; recording logged instrumentation data; drawing product samples for analysis to implement process adjustments, GMP, and 5S; inspecting and operating forklifts; and assisting coworkers when needed.

I shortened and combined some items. You know the specifics of what you did better than me and are welcome to accept or ignore them as needed. Here's why I did that, though:
- I tend to reduce prepositional phrases when I can make them simple adjectives. E.g., "production components" instead of "components associated with production". Also, "product samples" in place of "sample of product".
- "Out-of-spec product" is more concise than "when the product is out of spec". Because I made that prepositional phrase become a phrasal adjective, I hyphenated it.
- I forced the tracking on calciner belt to become a noun with adjectives so that it would fit with the other nouns. I don't know that it's called a tracker though. Maybe tracking instrument. You know this process, and I can only guess.
- Gauges are instruments. Unless you specifically want to draw attention to the gauges, I would just say instruments.
- I shortened the reason for the sample analyses. I know that an analysis will only aid in the implementation of a process adjustment and not implement the adjustment by itself, but I think concise is good here.

Things to consider:
- Comil and sweco are brands/manufacturers, right? Maybe say what type of process unit you're talking about.
- Lots of things have inlet hoppers; is it a calciner inlet hopper?
- I don't know what S.O.I. is short for. Size of I-something? If it's size, I would say "by S.O.I." because I would say "by size" and not "per size".

Hope this helps and tell me if I'm wrong anywhere.

need help with following paragraph. thank you!

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