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Piranja Posted 12 years ago
Grammar
Need help with an important university letter
Hello,
I'm not that good at writing formal letters so I really hope that you'll help me out. I'm making a draft for a letter that my professor will send to another professor within the administration to ask whether I can join their group temporarily. I would really like if any of you could comment on the following sentences. [...] denotes information regarding names left out due to privacy.
"We wish to invite [...] (MIT ID# [...]) to MIT as a visiting student to conduct academic research in the [...] group at the [...], and we request your permission to do so."
"After his stay in the US, [...] will return to Denmark in July 2015 to transition to a master’s degree at DTU. This has already been planned with the Head of Studies at DTU, [...]."
"Thank you for taking the time to review this request."
Are these sentences correct?
Could they be improved in any way?
Should they be more formal? And how would I do that?
Thanks,
Bjarke
I'm not that good at writing formal letters so I really hope that you'll help me out. I'm making a draft for a letter that my professor will send to another professor within the administration to ask whether I can join their group temporarily. I would really like if any of you could comment on the following sentences. [...] denotes information regarding names left out due to privacy.
"We wish to invite [...] (MIT ID# [...]) to MIT as a visiting student to conduct academic research in the [...] group at the [...], and we request your permission to do so."
"After his stay in the US, [...] will return to Denmark in July 2015 to transition to a master’s degree at DTU. This has already been planned with the Head of Studies at DTU, [...]."
"Thank you for taking the time to review this request."
Are these sentences correct?
Could they be improved in any way?
Should they be more formal? And how would I do that?
Thanks,
Bjarke
Top answer
piranja Are these sentences correct? Welcome to English Forums! Yes, they are fine, as far as I can tell, given the omissions.
- piranja Are these sentences correct?
- Welcome to English Forums!
- Yes, they are fine, as far as I can tell, given the omissions.
- You should mention the starting date, as you have specified an return date.
- You should request a date for the response (acceptance or denial).
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3 Answers
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piranjaAre these sentences correct?Welcome to English Forums!
Yes, they are fine, as far as I can tell, given the omissions.
You should mention the starting date, as you have specified an return date.
You should request a date for the response (acceptance or denial).
DTU - acronyms should be spelled out the first time they are menti
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Thanks, I will do that!
Would the following sentence be better than the sentence I initially proposed?
We request your approval of an invitation to [...] (MIT ID# [...]) to conduct academic research as a visiting student in the [...] group at the MIT [...].
Would the following sentence be better than the sentence I initially proposed?
We request your approval of an invitation to [...] (MIT ID# [...]) to conduct academic research as a visiting student in the [...] group at the MIT [...].
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piranjaThanks, I will do that!Would the following sentence be better than the sentence I initially proposed?We request your approval of an invitation to [...] (MIT ID# [...]) to conduct academic research as a visiting student in the [...] group at the MIT [...].It's not dramatically better, but it is more succinct.
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