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Anonymous Posted 12 years ago
Letter Writing
Need help with an email. Requesting Information
I drafted this email to go out to Directors at work. Please take a look and let me know how I can improve it to be clearer and more professional; Thank you
"As you may recall from the all hands meeting last week, Bill mentioned that the Business Management division will be reaching out to various divisions for support with a desktop training going over all of the fleet offerings. . I will be building a presentation for our customers with information on these offerings. Please provide me with any relevant information on the offerings from your division. Please see the list below with possible offerings we have put together. Feel free to include anything else you think will be relevant to the customers. Let me know if you have any questions. Thanks! "
"As you may recall from the all hands meeting last week, Bill mentioned that the Business Management division will be reaching out to various divisions for support with a desktop training going over all of the fleet offerings. . I will be building a presentation for our customers with information on these offerings. Please provide me with any relevant information on the offerings from your division. Please see the list below with possible offerings we have put together. Feel free to include anything else you think will be relevant to the customers. Let me know if you have any questions. Thanks! "
Top answer
Nothing particularly wrong here, although "offerings" is very vague. However, I will use your language. Here is another way to word this.
- Nothing particularly wrong here, although "offerings" is very vague.
- However, I will use your language.
- Here is another way to word this.
- You may use whatever you think is helpful.
- As you may recall from the "all hands" meeting last week, Bill reported that Business Management will be reaching out to various divisions for their support for a desktop training program which will cover all the fleet offerings.
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1 Answers
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Nothing particularly wrong here, although "offerings" is very vague. However, I will use your language. Here is another way to word this. You may use whatever you think is helpful.
As you may recall from the "all hands" meeting last week, Bill reported that Business Management will be reaching out to various divisions for their support for a desktop training program which will c
As you may recall from the "all hands" meeting last week, Bill reported that Business Management will be reaching out to various divisions for their support for a desktop training program which will c
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