Need Help with a Sonet

Question

Can Someone please help me with my sonnet? I am having trouble with Iambic Pentameter.

Enjoy the beauty and charms of nature,
Bask in the serenity of outdoors.
Behold the expanse of a lush acre,
Or a tranquil undeveloped lakeshore.

Sunlight so warm and stunningly glorious,
Illuminates the mind by shining bright.
Colorful flowers look victorious
As reaching for the sun is in their sight.

Wondrous amazement of all living things
From the babble of frogs to chirping birds,
Excite the senses with melodic swings.
Feelings expressed with no need for mere words.

Oh Nature, you are scenic and floral
And well deserving of your green laurel.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Hi ryan;

Welcome to English Forums.

First, a basic question:
Do you know what iambic pentameter is?

Ryan1999 · Answer

Quite frankly no. I've done a little bit more research and I realized that my stab at writing my first sonnet was horrendous. I've sinced reworked my poem. I feel that I have iambic down but not sure about pentameter. Here is my revised poem. I would be grateful for any input. Thank you in advance.
Enjoy the beauty and allure of earth,
Behold magical delights of outdoors,
Observe wonders of life, death and rebirth,
Inspiring thoughts and warming hearts to soar.

Sunlight warm and stunningly glorious,
Illuminates the mind by shining bright,
Spirits the sole to be victorious,
For reaching to the stars can be insight.

Wondrous amazement of all living things
From the croaking of frogs to chirping birds,
Excite the senses with melodic swings,
Inspiration conveyed without mere words.

Oh Nature, you are scenic and floral

And well deserving of your green laurel.

StartFragment>
Enjoy the beauty and allure of earth,
Behold magical delights of outdoors,
Observe wonders of life, death and rebirth,
Inspiring thoughts and warming hearts to soar.

Sunlight warm and stunningly glorious,
Illuminates the mind by shining bright,
Spirits the sole to be victorious,
For reaching to the stars can be insight.

Wondrous amazement of all living things
From the croaking of frogs to chirping birds,
Excite the senses with melodic swings,
Inspiration conveyed without mere words.

Oh Nature, you are scenic and floral
And well deserv
EndFragment>

Anonymous · Answer

The stress pattern is not right in some places. It should be _^ _^ _^ _^ _^ in every line. The following, for example, would be iambic pentameter:

Behold the beauty and allure of earth,
the magical delights of things outdoors,
the mysteries of life and of rebirth,
inspiring thoughts and warming hearts to soar.

The sunlight warm and oh so glorious,
illuminates the mind by shining bright,
so that the soul can be victorious,
to reach for any star that is in sight.

Amazement that we have for living things,
from croaking frogs to flighty chirping birds,
excites the senses with melodic swings.
This inspiration can't be said in words.

Oh Nature, you who can so play a scene,
your beauty makes me happy and serene.

Ryan1999 · Answer

Thank you so much. I am completely blown away by how you could do this so quickly and how melodic you made this sound. I'm still having a hard time understanding the stress patterns. Is there any tip you can give me?

Once again, thank you for spending your time helping me. I hope you have a wonderful New Year.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

ryan1999 Is there any tip you can give me?

Watch this, and you will be in the iambic pentameter in-crowd.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

And if you are more interested in Broadway, watch this one.

Ryan1999 · Answer

These are awesome. Thanks again.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

A few minor changes converts your wishes into a line of iambic pentameter.

I hope / you have / a won / der-filled / New Year.
---1-----------2-----------3-----------4--------------5-------

CalifJim · Answer

ryan1999Thank you so much. I am completely blown away by how you could do this so quickly and how melodic you made this sound. I'm still having a hard time understanding the stress patterns. Is there any tip you can give me?

Tip: Don't be afraid to carry your phrases over to a new line.
Tip: Don't be afraid to invert sentence structures every now and then.
Tip: Read Edna St. Vincent Millay's sonnets as a model for a more modern treatment than Shakespeare's.

Here are two lines of iambic pentameter. Five duh-DAs in each line.

Completely blown away am I by what
You did. You made it sound like melody.

CJ

Anonymous · Answer

Some further tips on iambic pentameter.

To get familiar with IP you should go to Shakespeare. All of his plays are written mostly in unrhymed IP verse. The verse sections are printed in columns of lines approximately the same length (10 syllables, stressed: _^ _^ _^ _^ _^). The prose sections are printed spread out, like the text in a novel. And of course the sonnets are written in rhymed IP verse.

IP is relatively easy to write, because any natural sequence of 10 one-syllable words in English will almost always be IP. For example:

I ^walked to ^school with ^my best ^friend John ^Smith. (You cannot say this as: ^I walked ^to school...etc.)

If you want to stick a 2-syllable word in, this is readily done:

I ^walked to ^school with ^my friend ^Johnny ^Smith.

I ^quickly ^walked to ^school with ^my friend ^John.

A^lert I ^was as ^I did ^walk to ^school.

So writing IP is pretty straightforward. In a sonnet things are more difficult because of the rhyming requirement. But note that writing 2 consecutive IP lines that rhyme is not that hard:

I ^saw a ^bluebird ^flying ^in the ^sky.
It ^was a ^lovely ^sight for ^any ^eye.

But in a sonnet the rhyme is in alternate lines, which makes things more difficult. One way to get around this is to consider the above two lines as the first and third lines of a sonnet. Then stick a second line in, which is relatively easy since you don't have to immediately concern yourself with rhyme:

I saw a bluebird flying in the sky.
It ^dipped and ^soared a^bove the ^bales of ^hay.
It was a lovely sight for any eye.

Now all you need is a line that rhymes with "hay" to complete the stanza - this is the most difficult part:

A ^treat for ^me on ^this fine ^summer's ^day.

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