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Anonymous Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Need help on grammar check

Hi, I am new users here. I am a second language student. Could anyone tell me some websites or forums that helping students revise their essay?

this is my essay. Could some one help me here? And, please grade on it! 1-6 (above 4 consideing a passing score)

No Television



Television has increased the speed at which news travels and it can bring situations and images into our homes that previous generations would not have had the opportunity or regret to witness. Nowadays, watching TV becomes one of the most popular pastimes in our daily lives, and it brings a lot of fun. The benefits of television are that can increase our knowledge of the world and give us information to improve our lives. However, people do not realize that they are addicted to it, and the influence of television is much further that people cannot imagine. For example, it can make a person famous overnight, or ruin the person’s life. In my personal opinion, watching too much television is that by providing indoor entertainment to people it has decreased the level of social interaction between people; it can become a replacement for family interaction; it can influence kids in a bad way if they watch the programs full of violence and crime. Overall, I partially agreed with the protest that we should not watch too much television.

Firstly, television viewers gradually become passive in their action. Television may be a splendid media of communication, but it prevents us from communicating with each other or with the outer world, and it causes too much distraction from the real world it can prove harmful. Television reduces social participation as it keeps people home watching the set. The world seen through television is only the restricted one: It separates us from the real world. For example, television allows its audiences to live vicariously through the situations and lives of fictional characters. It's far easier for a television viewer to experience the thrill of a television character's success than it is to go out and create success on their own terms. This is particularly detrimental to children and teenagers who need to develop a strong sense of self and a purpose in life. Television encourages passivity. Therefore, television watchers should keep a log of the hours they choose to sit in front of the tube. After they experience the shock of realizing how much time they've wasted, they could then make a list of ways to use that time more productively. Some suggestions might be: spend time with family, friends, and pets; start a part-time business; play a sport; or pick up a hobby. They just might discover there's more to life than what's happening on the latest reality show. As Americans we need to increase our social involvement by getting involved in community functions and actively joining clubs and organizations.

Secondly, television has especially adversely affected family ties, because while in earlier years when there was no television, children and parents spent more quality time together. Now, they are just glued in front of the television and don’t give a lot of time to each other. Many people neglect their families so they can watch television. For instant, a family may be in the same room but would not say a word to each other or acknowledge each other. Many families now also eat dinner in front of the television which means normal dinner table conversation is lost. Most large families also have multiple televisions so that each member can watch the programmers they would like to watch this means that some families may spend less than an hour in each other’s company before going to bed. Television as a relaxation tool can encourage passive retreat instead of engagement in family. There is no adopt that too much of a television watching schedule can reduce intimacy in the family. The best way to enhance television viewing with family interactions is to comment on the good or bad acting and sharing feelings, while in progress. Another way is to develop a time for participation in family activities. Appropriately watching television can be educationally stimulating, and some shared viewing can be emotionally bonding. Therefore, watching television should support rather than inhibit family bonding and communication.

Finally, television is commonly criticized as being bad for children that an important fact sometimes gets overlooked. Television contains an enormous variety of forms and content, and the effects of television viewing depend on program content and genre. In my personal opinion, good educational programs can provide lasting benefits to children. Some types of television viewing may actually enhance children’s intellectual development. According to a research, young children who spent a few hours a week watching educational programs such as history channel, discovery had higher academic test scores than those who didn’t watch educational programs. On the other hand, children who watch many hours of entertainment programs and cartoons had lower test scores than those who watched fewer hours of such programs. Besides, it is hard to watch an evening of program without encountering violence and crime. Children might view hundreds of murder on the TV and view world as unsafe as these entertainment extravaganzas plays. Many of us find that shows with crime or violence entertaining are not suitable for children of young ages. These scenes are practically common on crime dramas. Children may not intentionally being exposed but by simply being in or near the same room as an older child or adult watching the programmer. With children being exposed to these scenes it can corrupt there innocent minds leading them in some extreme cases become violent to other children. In one serious case, a kid killed his two-years-old sister with kitchen knife, when his parents and his little sister were slept. Furthermore, it can also lead to more permanent problems such as violence or evil thoughts well into adulthood. Fortunately this can be easily avoided or reversed by not allowing young children to view these programmers by placing them in a different room from the television or sending them to bed. It's important to set a good example for the kids by encouraging them to read and engage in the arts rather than park themselves in front of the television set.

In conclusion, television is perhaps the world’s greatest invention, and it is still indispensable in today’s modern world. There's no doubt that television view does have its benefits if carefully selected programs are viewed. It's a way to stay informed about what's happening in the world. Plus, there are varieties of channels that offer educational programming where you learn new skills ranging from cooking to crafts. Although television can be an educational, multi-sensory communication devise, it takes up our time to exercise or our family time and also has many scenes that corrupt young minds. The trick is to not let television overtake your life or the life of your family to the exclusion of other more important activities. Let television be a treat rather than a daily ritual.
  

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  • Just stumbled across your question, although maybe a little late.
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Just stumbled across your question, although maybe a little late. This site is very sfunny and helpful!

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