Need help in motivation letter preparation

Hi,

I have received an offer letter from the university. I am preparing a motivation letter for the scholarship application. I am not sure how my letter sounds.

I have included my draft letter below. Can you please go through my letter and share your opinion?

Dear Sir/Madam,

With this letter, I would like to submit my application for the **** scholarship.

Desire for focussed learning and quest for knowledge has moulded me as a person, who learns from each and every happening of a day. I believe my motivation for learning is best illustrated by my academics and professional experience.

From the very first stage of school education, I had been a consistent performer which enabled me to secure 87.9% in class 10 and 90% in class 12. Through my strong academic records, I got admitted into *****, ranked among the top 10 engineering institutions in India to pursue my Bachelor of Engineering. During my undergraduate education, I was able to prove my strong academic skills by securing a CGPA of 8.366 for 10. Also working as an intern in corporate companies has helped me understand the practical aspects of engineering.

Academics has never stopped me from participating in extracurricular activities. I had the great honour of representing, the school basketball team in many inter school competitions. Being the captain of the team, I have learnt to be a good leader and a team player which helped in winning the competitions. During college, I participated in many cultural and technical symposium. Holding pivotal positions, helped me to realise my hidden potential of making strategic decisions and effective organizing of these events. Further, I had a chance to matriculate myself in college’s National Service Scheme (NSS) and was able to spend useful time in public service. Volunteering myself to participate in extracurricular activities helped me gain self-confidence and interest towards innovative thoughts, team building and explore my innate abilities.

Even before I completed my degree, I was selected in one of the fastest growing software giant **** through campus recruitment. The selection was based on my technical knowledge, general aptitude, English language and communication skills. Working with some of the leading clients like ***, I had a chance to explore the working environment and to learn skills like team building, problem solving and mentoring new entrants. I received awards like **** performance Award from Banking and Financial Services Vertical, appreciating my thorough understanding of the business process and for helping in their Business Development. This phase of life, apart from being a learning experience also left a permanent stamp on the importance of teamwork, co-ordination and complying with the responsibilities, for success of any endeavour.

I have always had the desire and the vision of starting a business. My vision started to seed into a lot of ideas, but materializing and nurturing one of these ideas require the necessary tools and information, which a Master’s degree in Business would provide. The distinguished faculty and excellent facilities at your university make its graduation program ideally suited to my professional goals. The flexibility of the curriculum will give me the broad-based education. The diversity of the student’s body will open my mind to new influences, new ideas and new ways of doing things. The international education will give me the training and the calibre to meet the global clients. I look forward to being an active contributing member of the student community at your University.

Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.

Sincerely,
****