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Leanenshee Posted 19 years ago
Letter Writing

Need help editing apology!!!!

0please, I would appreaciate any suggestions that would strengthen this apology!02br
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00I would like to express my sincerest apologies for my inappropriate actions on February 1401sup00th02sup00, 2007. It was horrible of me to disrespect you and I will make sure it won’t happen again.02br
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00During the day that I was suspended, I realized just how much this school mattered to me; and the problem with what I did. I realized how it could affect my future at the school and my future in life. 02br
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00I realize how horrible it must have been for you to have to deal with me, and I hope I did not stress you too much with my actions. I feel horrible about adding to your load of stress you probably have from dealing with so many children.02br
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00I know what I did was wrong. I should never have been so rude to you. It was a stupid and silly mistake. It would mean so much to me if you would give me another chance. I'm now concentrating on my conduct, and how to keep from getting extremely stressed and exploding at teachers or students. From now on, whenever I am stressed, I will find an appropriate outlet to vent my anger, such as confiding in a friend, or squeezing a stress ball.02br
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00 [school] is where I started my education and have been in for the past seven years. All my friends are here, and I believe it is the best place to help me accomplish my dreams of a good future. I realize that I have been having many behavioral problems, but I am making a sincere effort to become a perfect student, so that I can stay here.02br
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00I would like to once again apologize for my actions. I hope that you will find it in yourself to forgive me and understand that I am not a bad pupil; I just made a bad choice that I shouldn’t have. 02br
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00(I already have a heading)0-
  

Top answer

0Leanenshee, I believe that apologies work best when they come from the heart, and your seems to be sincerely written, so I don't want to make many changes at all. 02br 02br 00Only three comments: 02br 01ul 02br 01li 00 You use the word 01i 00horrible 02i 00too many times. Other words that you may want to try: terrible, difficult, "I feel so bad"02li 02br 01li 00The semi-colon after "mattered to me" isn't right, and the phrase that comes after it is awkward.

— BarbaraPA

  • 0Leanenshee, I believe that apologies work best when they come from the heart, and your seems to be sincerely written, so I don't want to make many changes at all.
  • 02br 02br 00Only three comments: 02br 01ul 02br 01li 00 You use the word 01i 00horrible 02i 00too many times.
  • Other words that you may want to try: terrible, difficult, "I feel so bad"02li 02br 01li 00The semi-colon after "mattered to me" isn't right, and the phrase that comes after it is awkward.
  • 02li 02br 01li 00Your final closing is the weakest part.
  • " Perhaps: "...
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1 Answers
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0Leanenshee, I believe that apologies work best when they come from the heart, and your seems to be sincerely written, so I don't want to make many changes at all. 02br
02br
00Only three comments: 02br
01ul
    02br
    01li
  • 00 You use the word 01i00horrible 02i00too many times. Other words that you may want to try: terrible, d
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