Need feedback for my writing

Fatherhood should be emphasized as motherhood. Do you agree or disagree?

Women’s role in family and society has changed significantly over the past decades. They no longer implement only traditional work such as mothers or housewives but also place many important positions in society such as doctor, scientist and politician. Therefore, when it comes to the issue of sharing responsibility in bringing up children, I believe that fathers should shoulder the task together with their wives in order to ensure adequate support for babies and solve the matter of inequity.

First of all, babies’ mental and physical health would benefit the most if they receive care and love from their full parents. Women alone can take care of their babies but it would be insuffient if they lack financial and emotional support from their fathers. It is evident that babies who have close relationship with their father can be infulenced some masculine characteristics such as being more strong or determined than those who do not have this chance.

Secondly, equity would be ensured when men and women have the same opportunities to improve their capacities. Since obtaining higher education, women in modern era have increasingly participated in numerous important tasks. However, their work are liable to be affected because they are so busy carrying out manytasks at home. In fact, women can be free to develop their career and contribute to social development if their familiy responsibilities are lessened.

Opponents may claim that it is mothers’ decision to give birth babies so it should be their responsibility to bring them up. This is obviously an invalid argument. Itis obvious that father also play a major part in making thedecision of whether their wives should have a baby or not, so it should be the responsibility of both. In addition, looking after our chidren bring joy and love, which go beyond the matter of responsibility; and the tighter bond between parents and children will be formed if father and mother close to their babies.

In conclusion, parenthood is critical for the development of a healthy child, so both fathers and mothers need to share the accountability in bringing them up. Also, husband’s support in babysistering work would release women from busy schedules so that they can develop their strength.