0
Tenacious Learner Posted 15 years ago
Grammar

Need Correction Please. Unit 6. Tim in a pub.

Hi Teachers,

Could you correct this paragraph if necessary?

This is an English pub. There are a few men and very few women. It is almost closing-time, eleven o’clock. One of the men in the pub is called Tim Scott. He spends a lot of time in pubs. His wife is at home. She had dinner alone two hours ago. In fact, she has had dinner alone quite a few times since she got married.

Wife: Where were you Fred? Don’t answer me; you were in the pub again!

Tim: Well, not really, we had a lot of work in the office.

Thanks in advance
  

Top answer

I would not use a hyphen for 'closing time'. Maybe the hyphen is a British thing. There is an abrupt change when you stop telling the story and introduce dialog as if this were a play.

  • I would not use a hyphen for 'closing time'.
  • Maybe the hyphen is a British thing.
  • There is an abrupt change when you stop telling the story and introduce dialog as if this were a play.
  • I would try to make the presentation more consistent by providing a better transition and quoting dialog as it is done in stories rather than as it is done in plays.
  • CJ
Free · every Monday

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.

6 Answers
0
I would not use a hyphen for 'closing time'. Maybe the hyphen is a British thing.

There is an abrupt change when you stop telling the story and introduce dialog as if this were a play. I would try to make the presentation more consistent by providing a better transition and quoting dialog as it is done in stories rather than as it is done in plays.

CJ
0
Hi Jim,

Thank you for the reply. Ok. Here is were you mentioned the abrupt change.

This is an English pub. There are a few men and very few women. It is almost closing-time, eleven o’clock. One of the men in the pub is called Tim Scott. He spends a lot of time in pubs. His wife is at home. She had dinner alone two hours ago. In fact, she has had dinner alone quite a few times sin
0
Thinking SpainIs this what you mean not to have an abrupt change?
Yes. Partially. It seems, however, that you also need to place the conversation in time somehow, even if it's just to add a little like this:

... In fact, she has had dinner alone quite a few times since she got married. [Once / One day] she asked, "Where were you, Fred?
0
Hi Jim,

Thank you once again fo your reply.

CalifJim... In fact, she has had dinner alone quite a few times since she got married. [Once / One day] she asked, "Where were you, Fred? ..." ... And Fred answered, "Well, not really, ..."
I'll pick up this one. It is easier.

Then this is how it should be, shouldn't it?

In fact, sh
0
Hi Jim,

Thank you once again fo your reply.

CalifJim... In fact, she has had dinner alone quite a few times since she got married. [Once / One day] she asked, "Where were you, Fred? ..." ... And Fred answered, "Well, not really, ..."
I'll pick up this one. It is easier.

Then this is how it should be, shouldn't it?

In fact, sh
0
Thinking SpainDo you use the reporting verb 'asked' because it is with a question that she starts her enquiries or comentaries?
Yes, I do.

CJ

Related Questions