Need Correction Please. Unit 6. Arthur at the train station.

Question

Hi Teachers,Could you correct this paragraph if necessary?Arthur, Deborah’s husband, got up really early this morning. He got up at six thirty because he wanted to take the eight o’clock train to London. Unfortunately, when he arrived at the train station the train wasn’t there. Why? Because it left five minutes ago, at eight o’clock sharp. So, Arthur arrived five minutes late.Arthur: How long ago did the train leave? It’s only seven fifty-five and the train always leaves at eight.Assistant: It left five minutes ago, and it’s not seven fifty-five, it’s eight five.Thanks in advance

CalifJim · Accepted Answer

Thinking SpainSo, Arthur arrived five minutes late.

As mentioned before.

And also as mentioned in another thread, you switch from story-telling to dialog-reporting abruptly.

CJ

Tenacious Learner · Answer

Hi Jim,

Thank you for your reply.

After you corrections I thought this one was wrong too.

Because it left five minutes ago, at eight o’clock sharp. So, Arthur arrived five minutes late.

It should be like this:

Because it left five minutes ago, at eight o’clock sharp, so Arthur arrived five minutes late.

Then, when do you use, 'xxxx. So, xxxxx'?

And also as mentioned in another thread, you switch from story-telling to dialog-reporting abruptly.

Well, if I'm not mistaken, and alzheimer is not around, it is the first time you've mentioned.

Information to consider: the short stories and small dialogues are taken from a book. What I do with them is to change then, partially or completely, but I follow the idea. But if you say it is abruptly done, It should be like this. Though to me is something really difficult, not to say impossible, to change them.

Best,

TS

CalifJim · Answer

Thinking SpainIt should be like this:
Because it left five minutes ago, at eight o’clock sharp, so Arthur arrived five minutes late.

Yes, in the general case, but this text is a little special. It goes along in a sort of clipped style with that question "Why?" that interrupts the flow, and then the incomplete sentence that gives the answer.

In order to preserve the casual quality of the text, I would not connect the So sentence to the preceding clause in this case. The style is not formal enough to require it. I would simply remove the comma and use this:

Unfortunately, when he arrived at the train station the train wasn’t there. Why? Because it left five minutes ago, at eight o’clock sharp. So Arthur arrived five minutes late.

Thinking SpainThen, when do you use, 'xx. So, xx'?

I don't use that in most of my writing, but as I said, this text is in a much more informal style, so I would do as I said above in this case. If you are really particularly fond of that comma, you can even keep it there.

I'm just saying I wouldn't.

Thinking SpainWell, if I'm not mistaken, ... it is the first time you've mentioned.

I see that you have already responded to the other post, so you have found it by now.

I would simply make the same kinds of minor changes here that I mentioned in my other post.

You could do something like this:

... So Arthur arrived five minutes late. Arthur was puzzled, so he asked how long ago the train (had) left. He said, "It's only ..." The [assistant / station attendant] explained that the train had left five minutes ago. "It's not seven fifty-five. It's eight five," he said.

CJ

Tenacious Learner · Answer

Hi Jim,

Thank YOU so much for the reply advices and explanations. Right now I'm in a hurry because I have to catch a train. That's what I do every Thursday. I teach outside Barcelona, about 140 km away, 6 hours. But I'll be looking for your answers on my cell phone and tomorrow I'll be back for sure.

Because of your comentaries I'll have to review more than just a few stories. So I'll be posting them here.

Sleep well,

TS

Need Correction Please. Unit 6. Arthur at the train station.

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions