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Manzlol Posted 16 years ago
Need constructive feedback on my poem please
We can't make it.
I waited. Ecstasy anticipation. Played.
The scene over and over and over. Again. We can't make it. Not tonight.
The stairs, steep incline. A journey topples you. Heels over head over toes. We can't.
I said no. No. Again. Your toes, gnarled topple over your boorish head over everything that has been healed.
I toppled you, king. Check. Check. Mate.
And we crowned each other, congratulated each other on our own incredibility.
Good. Good. Because I said no and I dodged when you toppled head over heals over toes over boorish head. Over and over and over again.
I say no always I mean yes. Catch me as you topple.
Tra la la down the garden path, onto the trye swing and we're flying again.
I waited. Ecstasy anticipation. Played.
The scene over and over and over. Again. We can't make it. Not tonight.
The stairs, steep incline. A journey topples you. Heels over head over toes. We can't.
I said no. No. Again. Your toes, gnarled topple over your boorish head over everything that has been healed.
I toppled you, king. Check. Check. Mate.
And we crowned each other, congratulated each other on our own incredibility.
Good. Good. Because I said no and I dodged when you toppled head over heals over toes over boorish head. Over and over and over again.
I say no always I mean yes. Catch me as you topple.
Tra la la down the garden path, onto the trye swing and we're flying again.
Top answer
manzlol I say no always I mean yes. Are you, by any chance, a woman?
- manzlol I say no always I mean yes.
- Are you, by any chance, a woman?
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1 Answers
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manzlolI say no always I mean yes.
Are you, by any chance, a woman?
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