[NEED A CORRECTION] IELTS WRITING TASK 2

Hi everyone, Could you give me a favor? I wrote this essay and I need someone can correct it for me !

It would be great. Thanks a lot.

Topic: Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. Do you agree or disagree?

With the proliferation of contemporary society and the hustle and bustle of lifestyle come a wide range of paradoxical-sophisticated dilemmas. For instance, whether government ought to mainly invest in railways, instead of roads is a controversial issue. Personally, I wholeheartedly believe that it is worth spending money on railways, is the judicious investment in the long-term. This essay will attempt to present my justifications below.

First of all, it is an overwhelming importance of environmental quality. Indeed, nowadays, what the world need most is not wealth, but the sustainable living environment for human and their later generations. If the infrastructure of railways system is reinforced in the short-term, the releasing of pollutants into the environment may significantly shorten. In fact, with state-of-the-art technology explosion enables people to engender various types of trains which are smokeless, driver-less, fuel-efficient and quick as lightning. Moreover, government can make an effort to take steps to encourage citizens use the public transports, especially railways by that movement. This means that the usage of cars or private vehicles will be curbed and extremely decreased, leading to the reduction of gas and smoke which is one of the radical factors jeopardizing the air environment.

Furthermore, it is obvious that individuals can make the most of that. For example, the commuters can reach balance between job and workplace. If the railways system is boosted, regardless of geographical distance, they can travel to work with a short-time. On the other hand, another benefit is that the public not only raises awareness of environmental pollution but also become healthier and happier due to a pure habitat.

However, it should be recognized that a few others thinks otherwise. To their minds, roads are more crucial. Their arguments may entail the assumption which is that driving personal vehicles is more convenient for them. Despite this, it is my belief that this line of thought mirrors a flawed understanding and solely harbors a short-term efficiency.

In conclusion, not only government but also public synergy should involve in railways investment, guaranteeing the long-term national development.