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Lucas21c Posted 14 years ago
Grammar
Natural Expression
Could you tell me whether the following sentence sounds natural?
A role model like Steve Jobs gives a variety of stimulus to me or others because it shows to us that there are already some who really practice their ideas that most of us just think.
Also, (if the above sentence is okay) would you tell me which one is better between the above and the following sentence?
A role model like Steve Jobs gives a variety of stimulus to me or others. It shows to us that there are already some who really practice their ideas that most of us just think.
Thank you.
A role model like Steve Jobs gives a variety of stimulus to me or others because it shows to us that there are already some who really practice their ideas that most of us just think.
Also, (if the above sentence is okay) would you tell me which one is better between the above and the following sentence?
A role model like Steve Jobs gives a variety of stimulus to me or others. It shows to us that there are already some who really practice their ideas that most of us just think.
Thank you.
Top answer
Good morning, Lucas. " BUT I can assure you that native speakers DO understand the idea that you wish to express, so that means that your English is coming along very well. Congratulations!
- Good morning, Lucas.
- " BUT I can assure you that native speakers DO understand the idea that you wish to express, so that means that your English is coming along very well.
- Congratulations!
- As I said, I cannot write well, but I would suggest something like: Most of us just think about our ideas, but Steve Jobs was a role model who showed us that some people actually put their ideas into practice.
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4 Answers
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Good morning, Lucas.
I am certainly NOT a writer, but may I most gently suggest that your sentence cannot be considered "natural."
At least two big "mistakes" jump out:
"gives a variety of stimulus"
"that most of us just think."
BUT I can assure you that native speakers DO understand the idea that you wish to express, so that means that your English is
I am certainly NOT a writer, but may I most gently suggest that your sentence cannot be considered "natural."
At least two big "mistakes" jump out:
"gives a variety of stimulus"
"that most of us just think."
BUT I can assure you that native speakers DO understand the idea that you wish to express, so that means that your English is
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I really appreciate your comments, James M.
By the way, could you tell me how I can move "Most of us just think about our ideas" to the end of the sentence.
Here is my suggestion that I revised.
Could you check whether it is okay?
Steve Jobs was a role model who showed us that some people actually put their ideas into practice, which most of us just think abou
By the way, could you tell me how I can move "Most of us just think about our ideas" to the end of the sentence.
Here is my suggestion that I revised.
Could you check whether it is okay?
Steve Jobs was a role model who showed us that some people actually put their ideas into practice, which most of us just think abou
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Great sentence! Much better than mine. I think that you may wish to change "which" to WHILE.
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"Which" is incorrect. Here is a more natural way to write your sentence.
Steve Jobs was a role model who showed us that some people actually put their ideas into practice, while most of us just think about our ideas.
Here is the way a native speaker is likely to write the sentence. Note that repeating "ideas" is not incorrect but it is awkwar
Steve Jobs was a role model who showed us that some people actually put their ideas into practice, while most of us just think about our ideas.
Here is the way a native speaker is likely to write the sentence. Note that repeating "ideas" is not incorrect but it is awkwar
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