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Lucas21c Posted 14 years ago
Grammar

Natural Expression

Could you tell me whether the following sentence sounds natural?
Please also tell me which one is better among the underlined wordings, "communicate with" and "be linked to"
Thank you.

Our goal is to build the business platform that one medium can communicate with/ can be linked to another one through online even though established event industry are based on offline.

* The business platform is to easily promotes and manages various events and meetings.
  

Top answer

Try this; perhaps it is what you mean: Our goal is to build a business platform in which media can communicate/ be linked online even though the industry event is a brick-and-mortar one.

  • Try this; perhaps it is what you mean: Our goal is to build a business platform in which media can communicate/ be linked online even though the industry event is a brick-and-mortar one.
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5 Answers
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Try this; perhaps it is what you mean:

Our goal is to build a business platform in which media can communicate/ be linked online even though the industry event is a brick-and-mortar one.
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Thank you for your help, Mister Micawber.
However, it seems I failed to correctly convey my idea with my original sentence.
So, here are my added information for your better understanding and a sentence that I revised.
Could you check whether my revised sentence is fine amd understandable?
Thank you.

Added information:

This business platform is something like a w
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Ah. Then my next suggestion:

Our goal is to build a business platform where events and meetings can easily be located online instead of relying on offline methods.
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Thank you for your comments. By the way, I'd like to add the meaning of "What we do is different from what other (existing) companies in event industry have done." So, how about the following one?

Our goal is to build a business platform where events and meetings can easily be located online instead of relying on offline methods that other existing companies in event industry have done
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You need to learn how to be more concise by trusting the reader more in understanding context:

Our goal is to build a business platform where events and meetings can easily be located online instead of relying on offline methods as other companies do.

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