Narrative improvement

What are your thoughts about this narrative?

The trigger to be wrote about was a picture of two hands tied with a computer mouse.

A scary night

I’d been waiting for that Saturday night to come all week long. Mum and dad were eating out with some friends so I was staying at home on my own. They finally consider me old enough to be left alone!

At first, my mum didn’t like the idea; she said our house was big and a bit insecure but my dad convinced her. He told me “Logan, in case something happens you ring us and we’ll be here as soon as possible.” “That won’t be necessary –I thought-- I’m twelve, I can take care of myself.”

Once they were gone, I ate the meal my mum had prepared me and zapped a few channels. I couldn’t find anything interesting to watch so I turned off the TV and played video games while listening to music.

Suddenly my dog, Bubba, started barking. I thought she was hungry. I gave her food but she went on with the barks. I was getting worried. As I paused the music, I heard a noise coming from my back. Out of the blue, someone posed his hand on my mouth and told me to remain quiet. I was panic-stricken; I didn’t know what to do. All I could think was how unlucky I was; once my parents decide to leave me alone, burglars break in.

They were three. I saw two of them going upstairs with big bags, the other one was struggling to lock Bubba up in the bathroom. Meanwhile, I took my phone and rang my dad. Whispering, I told him what was going on. We didn’t finish talking when someone took my phone out of my hand. “I told you to be quiet” he said.

Now, I was absolutely terrified. He ripped out the computer mouse and tied my hands with it. Then, he placed a hankie on my mouth and went upstairs to help the other guys.

I closed my eyes and tried to think on something else. All I wanted was my parents to be with me. I stood like that some minutes until I heard something that caused my attention. A police siren and my mum’s voice. Straight away, the door opened and I knew that awful night was finally over.