Narration Essay

Can anyone please help me with this essay? My assignment is to write a narration. I am not sure if this is fine. Please, check for erros on grammar, and punctuation!!
At the introduction, I'm not sure if my thesis sentence, and my essay map are clear. Thanks!!

I have arrived in the United States in December of 2002; I left Brazil in a hot and humid summer season to leave in Connecticut under a very cold, wind and white winter. I still remember the first time I saw snow, my heart couldn’t have bitted faster, the happiness that I felt is indescribable, that was something new, well, at the time I was experiencing a lot of different feelings, it was the first time that I was far away from my family and friends, the language was totally different and new, I had new customs, cultures, food, and places to explore. My first year in the US was the longest, the scariest and the most fascinated that I have ever lived. I worked in Connecticut at the Mohegan Hotel and Casino, for four months. I moved to New York City in April 2003, I met my boyfriend Rafael; he had arrived from Brazil in February 2003. At the first summer I worked in a ice cream store in the East Village called Cones Ice Cream, the store was small and cozy, the shop window in front of the store was all glass, inside a couple of tables from IKEA. The ice cream was delicious; the owners were two Argentineans brothers, which knew how to make the best Dulce de Leche gelato that I have ever tried. Using fresh products and real fruits they were doing really well at the gelato industry. Rafael at the time had two jobs, one in other ice cream store and also in a restaurant at the Upper East Side, which one I ended up working later. We were there on the great blackout in the middle of August of 2003, and it was an experience that Rafael and I, and a lot of people are not going to forget, for the unknown, for the waiting, and for the relief when it was over.
Around 4:30pm the lights went out. I was working when that happened; my boss, Oscar, panic because the day before the entire block lost power, Oscar could save the ice cream with dry ice and if he wanted to save it again he needed to run. We just found out that the problem wasn’t just in our neighborhood when he was already stuck in traffic. I was locked inside the store with an electric radio and phone, I found a public phone by the corner and try to call Rafael’s work, but they had the same problem like us, electric phone. Everybody was at the streets, was too hot to be inside anywhere without air-conditioner, the people was looking to get home before dark, and the best way was walking, the subway wasn’t working, and a taxi forget it, it is already really difficult to find one in a regular day imagine in a chaotic day like that one for thousands and thousands of people. At the streets cars weredisputing space against the residents and tourists.
I was freaking out, it was getting dark and I haven’t had any news about Rafael, Oscar hadn’t came back yet, and I had no idea if he would get back soon. I had planned to sleep at the store, well, I had nowhere to go, I wouldn’t go home walking at the dark, I didn’t even know how to get there without using a subway, the only thing that I could do was to wait and pray for Rafael to get there as soon as possible. When got really dark the visibility was bad, we just could see clear when a car passed throw the crowd. Besides the flash lights and candles that people carried on the streets.

Finally Oscar had come back, it was around 10pm, and Oscar told me that he could give me a ride home, but it was better to wait a little bit longer, than it would be less people at the streets. I didn’t really wanted to go home because I was expecting Rafael over there, but he could be home too, I thought myself. When we were preparing to leave by 11:45pm I saw Rafael approaching the store. He got there just in time, and I finally felt relieved. Rafael took a ride with one of the waiter at the restaurant, the waiter dropped him several blocks away from Cones, Rafael walked over 40 blocks to get there; he was exhausted and lucky to get there before we left. Oscar gave us a ride home and we slept like babies after that long and stressful day.

Next day, gallons of milk, a lot of cheese, meat, and fish went to garbage. The lights came back by 2pm that day. Oscar made more ice cream and had a very busy day. The subway was fixed and things started to go back to normal slowly. Today, when I remember this episode, I can say that was scary, having no idea of what was happening, no idea where was Rafael if he was alright. I know that could have been much worse, like robbery and violence, New York is a big city, violence is a problem, but that day was fine. However, that was a big and different experience. I learned how much stress I could handle, and that on those occasions the best way to get throw is maintain calm.