My writing task 1: The expenditure on fast food

Question

The bar chart compares the spending on fast food in the UK in 1990 from three groups: high income, average income, and low income. Units are million.

Overall, while hamburger was popular to high income and average income group, people who have low income prefer to have fish and chips for their meals.

In 1990, hamburger was consumed mostly by the high-income group, at over 40 while the expenditure on hamburger of average earning group was around 30. Pizza came as second in the expenditure of the high-income group, about 2 times more than that of the middle class. Fish and chips were more attractive to the average income than the high earning group. It stood at 25 in the consumption of average income but only 16 in that of the high-income group.

Fish and chips were the most popular fast food at the low earning group. The spending on this food reached 16 million, was the same as the consumption of it by the upper class. However, the expenditure on hamburger and pizza of working-class was both the lowest, at 14 and just over 5 respectively.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The wording is rather awkward. Do not use synonyms which might have different meanings of the groups in the bar chart.

The bar chart compares the spending on fast food in the UK in 1990 by ~~from~~ three groups: high income, average income, and low income. Units are million. (Million what? Dollars? Euros? Pounds?)

Overall, while hamburger was popular to high income and average income group, people who have low income prefer to have fish and chips ~~for their meals~~.

In 1990, hamburger was consumed mostly by the high-income group, at over 40 while the expenditure on hamburger of average earning group was around 30. Pizza came as second in the expenditure of the high-income group, about 2 times more than that of the middle class. Fish and chips were more attractive to people with an average income than the high earning group. It stood at 25 in the consumption of average income but only 16 in that of the high-income group.

Fish and chips was the most popular fast food at the low earning group. The spending on this food reached 16 million, was the same as the consumption of it by the upper class. However, the expenditure on hamburger and pizza of working-class was both the lowest, at 14 and just over 5 respectively.

Another major observation: People in the high income group spent 84 million pounds on fast food. That was more than twice as much as the low income group (39 million pounds). The spending of the middle income group was in between, 70 million pounds.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Model essay with minimal repetition:

The bar chart compares the spending on three kinds of fast food (hamburger, pizza and fish & chips) in the UK by income group. There are three income groups: high, average and low. Data is from 1990 and given in millions of pounds.

People with high incomes spent much more than the other two groups, a total of 84 million pounds. That was more than twice as much as the lowest (39 million pounds), and about 20% more than the middle group (70 million pounds). However, they spent about the same amount on fish & chips as the low income group.

The amount spent on hamburger was correlated with income - the higher the income, the more was spent on hamburger ( 46, 37 and 14 million pounds, in the three groups respectively.) The same pattern, although not as strong, can be observed in spending on pizza (19, 12, and 7 million pounds). Note that the highest income group spent between two and three times as much on hamburger (46) than on either pizza (19) or fish & chips (17). In the other two groups, there was not as much difference in spending on these items; the middle group's expenditure was 33, 25 and 12 on hamburger, fish & chips and pizza, respectively. The lowest income group, unlike the others, spent relatively more on fish & chips than the other two items.

My writing task 1: The expenditure on fast food

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