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AngelTears6996 Posted 21 years ago
My Rose
0 We had a passionate night, 02 br
00 Cant keep it far from my mind. 02 br
00 I never knew love like this before. 02 br
02 br
00 Im hurting deep inside. 02 br
00 Because, your gone, 02 br
00 gone away. 02 br
02 br
00 Your memory haunts me 02 br
00 every day. 02 br
02 br
00 She took you away 02 br
02 br
00 She's like the winter, 02 br
00 That took my rose. 02 br
02 br
00 Will it ever come back someday? 02 br
02 br
00 We had a passionate night. 02 br
00 I remeber you holding me 02 br
00 tight. 02 br
02 br
00 But as the sun lit the darkened sky. 02 br
00 I had awaken to find you gone. 02 br
02 br
00 Where are you? 02 br
02 br
00 "Twin to my soul." 02 br
02 br
00 "I can't find you"!!! 02 br
02 br
00 "You have planted a seed in my heart", 02 br
00 that shall never depart. 02 br
02 br
00 But I will wait patiently until Spring. 02 br
02 br
00 When the roses bloom. 02 br
02 br
02 br
00 Jessica Lamb 0-
00 Cant keep it far from my mind. 02 br
00 I never knew love like this before. 02 br
02 br
00 Im hurting deep inside. 02 br
00 Because, your gone, 02 br
00 gone away. 02 br
02 br
00 Your memory haunts me 02 br
00 every day. 02 br
02 br
00 She took you away 02 br
02 br
00 She's like the winter, 02 br
00 That took my rose. 02 br
02 br
00 Will it ever come back someday? 02 br
02 br
00 We had a passionate night. 02 br
00 I remeber you holding me 02 br
00 tight. 02 br
02 br
00 But as the sun lit the darkened sky. 02 br
00 I had awaken to find you gone. 02 br
02 br
00 Where are you? 02 br
02 br
00 "Twin to my soul." 02 br
02 br
00 "I can't find you"!!! 02 br
02 br
00 "You have planted a seed in my heart", 02 br
00 that shall never depart. 02 br
02 br
00 But I will wait patiently until Spring. 02 br
02 br
00 When the roses bloom. 02 br
02 br
02 br
00 Jessica Lamb 0-
Top answer
0 This is a better one, Jessica. There are still some cliches to weed out, but I like the little dialogue amidships and the rose motif here. 02 br 0-
- 0 This is a better one, Jessica.
- There are still some cliches to weed out, but I like the little dialogue amidships and the rose motif here.
- 02 br 0-
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3 Answers
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0 This is a better one, Jessica. There are still some cliches to weed out, but I like the little dialogue amidships and the rose motif here. What you need to do first however, is proofread your posts-- no one is going to be interested enough to comment if it looks as if you can't be bothered to check your own spelling. 02 br
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MR. Micawber
Please read The Cell.
I changed the I's and Me's.
Please tell me what you think now.
Please read The Cell.
I changed the I's and Me's.
Please tell me what you think now.
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Yes, that in itself universalizes the statement. Now the reader is free to imagine who 'we' are-- is 'we' all women? all lovers? This leaves room for the reader's interpretation and personalization of what s/he is reading.
The past tense of 'bind' is 'bound'.
By the way, when you are working on a poem in a forum such as this, it is much better to post a new version i
The past tense of 'bind' is 'bound'.
By the way, when you are working on a poem in a forum such as this, it is much better to post a new version i
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