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Heavenlydays Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

My piece of writing

Hello,

I just finished an essay but no one helps me to correct it.I hope there'll be someone can point out my mistakes and I guess I've quite a lot of mistakes.I hope you won't be bothered by my terrible English.

Topic: InHong Kongit seems to be common for people to think very highly of expensive brand-name clothes and fashion accessories (e.g. bags and shoes). This is true of students as well as adults.

Explain why manyHong Kongpeople think this way. Say whether you feel that this is a good or bad trend for students to follow. Give reasons for your opinions.

Sally used to earn money from doing compensated dating. Why would she do this shameful and dangerous job? It was because she needed more money to buy those expensive brand-name products. But now, she regrets what she has done after falling victim to venereal diseases. Alongside Sally, there are countless people desperate for designers’ products and do the illegal jobs to earn money. What makes them do that?

Celebrities have the inevitable responsibility for this tendency.Hong Kongpeople especially youngsters are totally fancy at those beautiful celebrities and deem them as fashion leaders. Once the celebrities bring their new bags or wear designers’ clothes,Hong Kongpeople will definitely follow suit. But they never think about whether they can afford. Even though they don’t have enough money, they will borrow money from loan sharks or sell their body and soul.

Apart from the celebrities’ effect, the massive magazine industry is one of the factors too. How many magazines publish inHong Kong? Near 100! Reporting the newest fashion trend is one of the responsibilities of the magazine publisher. However, the fashion information always comes from designers who sell the clothes or accessories in a high prize, and magazines are promoting those costly brand-name products. Hong Kongers are being gulfed by the ocean of magazines; it isn’t hard to understand why they love the brand-name products.

Due to the celebrities’ effect and magazines, Hong Kongers fall in love with following the fashion trend and earn money as many as possible. Unfortunately, there are numerous tragedies happen while people are urging to earn money, just like what happened to Sally. So, teenagers are better not to follow this changeable fashion trend.

Too many examples prove that teenagers shouldn’t chase behind the fashion trend. Some immature youngsters especially girls are dying for brand-name products because their favorite celebrity has one too but they can’t afford the costly brand-name products. Without regarding the consequences, they figured some “measures” – stealing money from people and doing the compensated dating. When they grow up, some of them found out having venereal diseases and some of them are being sent to jail. These stains will haunt them forever even ruin their bright future. Is it worth trading youngsters’ bright future for brand-name products?

Perhaps we can live to the fullest because of the costly brand-name products. But fashion is always changing and we should consider whether it is worth buying a crowd of fashionable stuff which might not useful. As a proverb goes “Think before you leap”, if we bare this proverb in mind, Sally’s situation will no longer happen in our society.
  

Top answer

Hello,HeavenlyDays It was very nice to read your essay. It is wonderful. You didn't make any mistake as far as I have read.

  • Hello,HeavenlyDays It was very nice to read your essay.
  • It is wonderful.
  • You didn't make any mistake as far as I have read.
  • If you wish the other users to correct your essay, you should post"Please correct my essay" so that they might check and correct.
  • ,Just an advice.
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1 Answers
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Hello,HeavenlyDays

It was very nice to read your essay. It is wonderful. You didn't make any mistake as far as I have read.

If you wish the other users to correct your essay, you should post"Please correct my essay" so that they might check and correct.

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