My new writing task 1 of the IELTS

Question

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.The column chart compares the sum of time of phone calls in the UK in terms of three different categories during the period from 1995 to 2002. The units are measured in billions of minutes.Overall, the local – fixed line was the most common type of call all over the years. The calling time of national and international – fixed line and mobiles (all calls) increased while that of local – fixed line rose and then decreased.In 1995, the figure started at over 70 billion of minutes. In 4 years from 1995 to 1999, the number of minutes of local – fixed line steadily went up to its peak, with 90 billion of minutes of telephone calls made in 1999. Subsequently, the figure gradually went down in the next 3 years and hit the low point of over 70 billion minutes, which is the same as 1995’s.In contrast, the telephone calling time in national and international – fixed line and mobiles (all calls) witnessed steady rise during the 7 years. In terms of national and international – fixed line, the number slightly rose from under 40 billion in 1995 to about 50 billion in 1999. Regarding mobiles (all calls), the number went up slightly from 1995 then suddenly plunged in 2000. In 2002, the figure reached its peak at about 45 billion minutes of calls, which was 40 billion more than that in 1995.pls help me check for the mistakes. tkkks so muchh

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

tmc19pls help me check for the mistakes. tkkks so muchh

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Your request has some issues.

Please help mother with the cooking. (Your mother does the cooking, but you help out.)

Please help me check ... (You have to do the checking, and we assist you. So what do you think your mistakes are? Then we can assist. I do not think this is what you want.)

AlpheccaStars · Answer

You wrote over 230 words, while the minimum is 150.

You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high scores. There are many reasons.

First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for these errors.

Second, especially in Task 2, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. In Task 1, you are likely writing about everything, rather than following the instructions and picking out only the significant points. This will cost you points.

Third, you will take a lot of the limited time writing, and not have time left over to proofread your essay. You will miss the silly mistakes, and that lowers your score.

Fourth, you will not have enough time to devote to Task 2, and get a lower score there. Task 2 counts twice as much for your overall score.

Practice writing and count your words. Aim for 170-190 for Task 1.

The column chart (This is a bar graph or bar chart. Learn the correct names of these diagrams. Specifically, this is a time-series clustered bar chart.) compares the sum of time (wrong expression) of phone calls in the UK in terms of three different categories (What are the categories?) during the period from 1995 to 2002. (How frequent are the values?) The units are ~~measured in~~ (incorrect We do not measure the units. We measure amounts.) billions of minutes.

Overall, the local – fixed line was the most common type of call all over the years. The calling time of national and international – fixed line and mobiles (all calls) increased while that of local – fixed line rose and then decreased.

In 1995, the ~~figure~~ (wrong word also, what category are you writing about?) the number of minutes in local, fixed-line calls started at over 70 billion ~~of minutes.~~ ("70 billion of minutes" is an incorrrect expression. We do not write numerical values this way. It is 70 billion minutes..) In 4 (Write this is words. Do not use digits for items that are not data values.) the four years from 1995 to 1999, it ~~the number of minutes of local – fixed line~~ steadily went up to a ~~its~~ peak at ~~with~~ 90 billion of minutes ~~of telephone calls made~~ in 1999. Subsequently, ~~the figure~~ it gradually went down in the next 3 years and hit the low point of over 70 billion minutes, which is the same as in 1995. ~~1995’s.~~

In contrast, the ~~telephone~~ calling time in national and international – fixed line and mobiles (all calls) ~~witnessed~~ (wrong word. Time cannot see things or witness events.) exhibited / had a steady rise during the 7 years. In terms of national and international – fixed line, the number slightly rose from under 40 billion in 1995 to about 50 billion in 1999. Regarding mobiles (all calls), the number went up slightly from 1995 then suddenly plunged (wrong word. This is an emotional word. Do not use it in task 1. Besides, the number increased in 2000, so you are not reporting the correct information.) in 2000. In 2002, ~~the figure~~ it reached its peak (wrong word. There is only one peak on this chart, and that is for the fixed-line calls in 1999.) at about 45 billion minutes ~~of calls~~, which was 40 billion more than ~~that~~ in 1995.

Example essay:

Paragraph 1: Describe the figure: Pay attention to the underlined words, which give the reader an accurate description.

The time-series bar chart compares the total minutes of telephone calls each year in the UK over the eight-year period from 1995 to 2002. The totals are separated out by the type of call: Local (from a fixed line), International / national (from a fixed line) and mobile calls to all destinations.

Paragraph 2: Point out two or three significant points without going into details: Note that the total of all categories is described, not just the individual ones. You get more credit for combining groups together.

Overall, the total time that people spent on all telephone calls increased substantially over the period. Local fixed lines always accounted for the largest proportion, with international/national fixed line calls being second and mobile calls third.

Paragraph 3: Focus on some details with particular data values.

The total number of minutes started at 112 billion in 1995, going up to 150 billion in 1999, and ending at 175 billion in 2002. However, the increase was not equally proportioned across all three services; in particular, mobile phones represented less than 5% percent in 1995 and markedly increased their share of the total. The use of local fixed lines for calls peaked in 1998-1999 with close to 90 billion minutes in each of these years. After 1999, the decline in these calls of approximately 20 billion minutes was more than offset by an increase of 30 billion minutes in mobile calls. Fixed-line national / international calls increased linearly at a rate of about 3.2 billion minutes annually throughout this time, starting at 38 and ending at 62 billion minutes.

My new writing task 1 of the IELTS

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