My Motivational letter for a M.s Program, HELP~!

Hi! I'm applying for a master program. I have no idea about how a nice motivational letter should be. And I don't know whether my letter is good....

But I will send this letter out this week. Could someone help me to correct it?

Please do not hesitate to make any correction, suggestion and comment.

Thanks a lot!

_______________________


Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to apply for the Master of Science in Finance Program for the 2008 fall term offered by University of AAA. My Name is Celesting. I completed my Bachelor Degree in Management with major in logistics management at BBB University, People's Republic of China in July 2007.



I am always interested in Italian culture, art, fashion, language and food, thus I was looking forwards to an experience in Italy. Moreover, I have learned Italian for half a year. To improve my Italian language, as an important reason, I decide to continue my education in Italy.



As one of the most famous international university, AAA has attractive exchange programme with my college along with great reputation among my schoolmates. Some of my friends have been enrolled in AAA's Master Program in 2007 fall term and speak highly of it. AAA's prestigious fist-class academic reputation, over-hundred years tradition and open-minded and friendly manner to the world, as well as excellent environment gathering top international brains, are so impressive and attracting that I consider AAA my best choice.



My college study includes two-year study of economics and two-year study of logistics management. Although I did not major in finance, I have been a finance enthusiast since my fourth year in university. During the two month finance internship in CCC Company, I found finance was exciting and attracting. I read on FT.COM, searched books and articles in finance and participated online simulative stock trading game. Actually, in highly professionalized finance realm, a comprehensive and professional education could be the best to satisfy my curiosity, free my passion and start my career in this realm. Next June, I will take CFA Level I examination. In fact, I plan to acquire CFA within four years and work in finance institutes after finishing Master of Science degree in Finance.



While refer to personal characteristics, I believe I am a passionate practitioner. I have experienced internships in finance in CCC which is one of the world top 500 companies, summer vacation internship in rising international trade company, partnership in business project with master students and PhD students, leadership in various campus societies and volunteer work for public good and welfare. Recently, I’m working as marketing director of a design agency.



I learn from these experiences and see myself as a fast-learner. For example, the finance internship that initiated my enthusiasm in finance required me to master a launching Finance Management Information System, which would launch in whole south China area, in only five days as an eligible project member. I managed to achieve the goal and performed well. Currently, one of my clients required me work out a marketing research report for its products, including marketing research, segment and targeting. I never did this kind of work before; however, I managed to achieve as well. I am good at seeking the best way to solve various problems. Thus, I will utmost my endeavor, and I am also confident that I am capable to be an excellent student of this program as well as a great member of AAA University.



Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your positive response.















Yours faithfully,

Celesting