My motivation letter

Pls, i need amendments to this motivation letter. Thanks for your help.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to express my interest in applying for a Master's Degree Programme in Architectural Design at the University of xxxxxxx starting in September 2014. I believe my educational background combined with my practical knowledge will enable me to make a strong contribution at the University.

My career objective is to secure a position in a reputable company where my skills will contribute to the company’s goals and where I can build my career prospects. My study objective is to study in a reputable institution that would provide the resources and educational tools needed to build a deeper theoretical & practical knowledge.

My interest in Architecture has now been so vast that I can say that my five-year study of Bachelor of Architecture has been astounding. I graduated in year 2012 with a bachelor degree second class (honors) upper division in Architecture. I have always been so studious and motivated that I have always known that a degree at a university will be apt for my future career. I have developed effective communication skills; I can make friends with most people quite easily and I am receptive to innovation; I have flair for both concept design and 3d visualization. Undoubtedly, all these are congruous with my future studies.

With almost one and half years of work experience, I have enjoyed working as a team. I learned working under pressure so I could manage Time efficiently. I have been involved in architecture design works and site supervision, notable among them is the design of a fire station at xxxxx .Presently, I am supervising the construction of a State General Hospital.

I consider studying abroad an opportunity to explore and identify other ways of improving myself. It is also a privilege to promote my culture and at the same time gain knowledge about cultural differences. I chose xxxxx because it is a community-oriented society that value social cooperation and environmental education and I specifically chose University of Xxxxxx because it has a School of Architecture more so it is ranked in the Academic Ranking of World Universities as the second best university in xxxxxxx. Furthermore, testimonies from past graduates have convinced me of a successful Master’s study at your University.

I am applying for a Master’s degree in Architectural Design after viewing the course curriculum provided by your University as the research focus and facilities available in your department complement both my past studies and my research interests.

However, my Master’s program would be financed by my Parent especially my dad. My dad is an assistant director at the Ministry of Works. My Parent have always been in my support since childhood, ensuring that I acquire the best education needed. They promised to see me through the course of this program and I believe that with their profession and earnings, they would be capable of affording all my fees and expenses throughout the year of study.

I believe that being a part of your department would not only enrich my career but would also help to attain my maximum potential. Moreover, I can avail myself to numerous exciting career opportunities and a successful completion of my Master’s Degree at the University of Xxxxxx will be an excellent springboard for my future career.

Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.

Yours Faithfully,
Tolulope Oyeniyi.