My Loyalty Essay -- Please help

Please give me your feedback on the essay below. Thank you for your help.

------------------------------------------ Topic Question -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Everybody has loyalties. People are loyal to schools, governments, rules, family, friends, etc. Everyone at one time or another has had their loyalty tested. Write about a time when you experienced a conflict of loyalties. What happened? How did you resolve it? What was the result?"

------------------------------------------------- My Essay ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Throughout my childhood, my only wish was to please my parents. To show my loyalty to my parents, I excelled in school, and always helped out my family. However, my loyalty to them was tested after I turned eighteen.

Soon after I turned eighteen, my parents wanted me to get married. They found me a man who was ready to settle down. This man did not finish high school and earned a minimum wage for a living. On the other hand, I wanted to go college. I had been dreaming about going to college since I was ten years old. I begged my parents not to force me into the marriage, but they did not listen to anything I said. I realized that my parents did not care about my future. Consequently, I had to either please my parents or fulfill my dream, and I chose the latter.

I ran away from home with no money and just a change of clothing in my backpack. I was homeless for a few days, but I managed to get help from the Job Corp Program funded by the government to provide job trainings for youths between ages of 16 and 21. The program provided me shelter, food, and job training. After a year and a half in the program, I completed the training to become a computer operator. At first, I could not get a job as a computer operator right away, so I had to work as a volunteer for the Santa Clara County Education Department in exchange for some experiences in computer operation. While volunteering, I earned my living at a fast-food restaurant at night. After three months, I finally got a part-time job as a computer operator. I then enrolled for classes at a junior college.

After one year in college, I went back home to visit my family. My mother was happy to see me, but I was not sure about my father. He did not speak very much and kept a distance from me. We did not apologize to one another. He passed away two months after my visit. In a way, I was glad that I made that visit, but I was sad that he did not live long enough to witness my graduation. After five years in college, I graduated with an engineering degree.

Looking back, I am glad that my loyalty to my parents was tested. The experience of being on my own gave me a chance to prove to myself that fulfilling my college dream without my parents' help was possible. Furthermore, I learned from the experience that I can do anything I put my mind to.