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Jacko Posted 23 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

My Introduction to a critique

In today’s society, people are well-immersed in fulfilling their physical needs. People live life on the fast lane, seldom taking the time to arrest a moment and mull over the real purpose of their lives. When the fast lane finds itself in a gridlock, people dependent on it often find themselves paralyzed and floundering through the almost impenetrable flow of confusion, dilemmas, and distress. Dr. Dennis Kimbro firmly believes that everyone is capable of shaping life in its optimal form, eliminating the need for dependency on uncertainty and taxing excessive energy on one’s self. In What Makes the Great Great, Dr. Kimbro speaks of the hidden potentials dormant in every individual. Albeit various people interpret greatness differently, by finding one’s true purpose in life and utilizing given potentials, one outlines his itinerary to great success. He corroborates his beliefs by an account of his interviews with different successful individuals. His interviews show that success mandates a specific attitude: facing whatever hindrances with positive mind and unflagging pursuit. Just like What Makes the Great Great, Kimbro also wrote two other self-help books—Think and Grow Rich: A Black Choice and Daily Motivations for African American Success—which also galvanize individuals seeking for great achievements into taking full responsibility of their lives and start chasing their dreams. Dr. Kimbro’s works reflect his passion for reaching out to the Black community, and What Makes the Great Great is no exception.
  

Top answer

My teacher said she loved it although there were a few errors with it. She did not point out where the errors were--I guess because they don't do that in college.

— Jacko

  • My teacher said she loved it although there were a few errors with it.
  • She did not point out where the errors were--I guess because they don't do that in college.
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7 Answers
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My teacher said she loved it although there were a few errors with it. She did not point out where the errors were--I guess because they don't do that in college.
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I love it, too!
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In today’s society people are preoccupied satisfying their physical needs. People live life IN the fast lane, seldom taking the time to stop and think about the real purpose of their lives. When the fast lane finds itself in gridlock, people dependent on it often find themselves paralysed and floundering through the almost impenetrable flow of confusion, dilemma
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No offense, Hitch, but I like the original better, although it is a litte difficult to understand. I had to look up the words or how they are used, and they seem perfectly valid. I just don't know about the commas and other punctuations.
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No offense taken! I agree; Jacko has a way with words -> Very Short Summary -- Please Post Comments

For what it's worth my only issue with this article was the over use of complex phrases (I know it seems like a contradiction re:my last post, but everything
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Thanks, but I would honestly say that I do like my original paper, but I better like my paper with some of Hitch's comments because it makes my paper clearer.

About the punctuations, don't worry, I don't know if I placed all of them correctly either. *** don't tell my teacher
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Also, I'm really paranoid when it comes to writing papers because when I first wrote, my paper literally sucked! The first time I wrote for a writing proficiency, I got 1.5, while the rest of the class got 2.5 at the least.

It cames as a challeged for; so from then onwards, I really tries to make my sound 'smarter' by using big words. The first a year and a half I'd been doing that, my
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