[ MY IELTS WRITING TASK 2 ], please help me fix this. thanks !!

Some people believe that the only purpose of films is to entertain. Others say films should have educational value. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Film industries rose significantly in recent decades due to technological development whereby improving people’s choices of entertaining. Some people believe that satisfying a personal interest is the only purpose of watching movies. Others have reservations about this opinion, arguing that educational value should be added into films besides its entertainment value. Although movies should help audiences feel relaxed, I personally believe that valuable lessons should also be included into films.

On the one hand, the entertainment factor plays the key role in every films because the vast majority of audiences would prefer an amusing movie than a deadly dull movie. According to some research, watching a movie, especially comedy, can be a solution to tackle the depression as well as improving child’s fertile imagination because it decreases the stress hormone in the body called “ Cortisol “. For instance, I made a survey to find out what kind of entertaining tools can be considered as a worthy time-consuming. The result came out was approximately more than sixty percent of reporters prefer watching movie than playing video games or reading books.

On the other hand, educational value should be considered to be added into every movies because not only it brings several lessons of life but also heighten public awareness of the society. Especially when children watch educational movies, it can be educational development for their personality as well as teaching them what real life is. Furthermore, movie can be used as an efficient tool for parent to educate their children numerous lessons of life. To illustrate, there are a bunch of researches which concluded educational films are important for a child’s development because the young mostly prefers watching than reading.

In conclusion, educational value is necessary besides entertaining because it helps audiences feel relaxed as well as teaching valuable lessons for them.