My Ielts writing task 2 essay needs feedbacks

TOPIC: some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

ESSAY:
A highly controversial issue today relates to whether history is more vital than other subjects such as science and technology or not. In this essay, I am going to examine this question and then give my own opinion on the matter.

On the one hand, history is being considered one of the most essential subjects at school. The main reason for believing this is that, the demand for higher awareness about historical values is undeniable because fast pace life results in the lack of attention of people to the historic achievements and only catch the lastest information via television or newspapers. Moreover, it is crucial for senior generations to acknowledge what their ancestors have done and contributed to what we have today so that not only will they show respect and treasure the meanings of life but also become more patriotic.

On the other hand, it is also possible to say that science and technology play a more important role in educating students. People often have this opinion because scientific and technological breakthroughs bring many merits in modern life and lay the foundation for future civilization. As a result, job vacancies in science and technology areas are giant and tempting owing to the respectability and high-paid salary that a scientist and engineer can earn.

In conclusion, I believe both arguments have their points. On balance, I feel that history should be caught more concern of students as well other people because if we do not teach our younger to preserve the old values well, in one-day momentary occassions including scientific and technological developments will be ignored and disregarded.