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Anonymous Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
My homework
is this sentence smooth?
In the New York Times news article, “Obama Signs Away ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,’” Sheryl Stolberg reports President Obama’s signing of legislation to repeal “don’t ask, don’t tell,” the controversial law—also known as “DADT”—allowing gay soldiers to serve in the military as long as they keep their sexual orientation quiet.
In the New York Times news article, “Obama Signs Away ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,’” Sheryl Stolberg reports President Obama’s signing of legislation to repeal “don’t ask, don’t tell,” the controversial law—also known as “DADT”—allowing gay soldiers to serve in the military as long as they keep their sexual orientation quiet.
Top answer
It is more verbose than necessary. Trust your reader to have some common sense: In the New York Times article "Obama Signs Away ‘Don't Ask, Don't Tell'", Sheryl Stolberg reports President Obama's signing of legislation to repeal DADT, the controversial law allowing gay soldiers to serve in the military as long as they keep their sexual orientation private.
- It is more verbose than necessary.
- Trust your reader to have some common sense: In the New York Times article "Obama Signs Away ‘Don't Ask, Don't Tell'", Sheryl Stolberg reports President Obama's signing of legislation to repeal DADT, the controversial law allowing gay soldiers to serve in the military as long as they keep their sexual orientation private.
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1 Answers
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It is more verbose than necessary. Trust your reader to have some common sense:
In the New York Times article "Obama Signs Away ‘Don't Ask, Don't Tell'", Sheryl Stolberg reports President Obama's signing of legislation to repeal DADT, the controversial law allowing gay soldiers to serve in the military as long as they keep their sexual orientation pr
In the New York Times article "Obama Signs Away ‘Don't Ask, Don't Tell'", Sheryl Stolberg reports President Obama's signing of legislation to repeal DADT, the controversial law allowing gay soldiers to serve in the military as long as they keep their sexual orientation pr
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