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Angliholic Posted 16 years ago
Grammar
My Hometown at Dusk
My Hometown at Dusk
Calling me, calling me,
My hometown is constantly calling me at dusk,
Calling this weather-beaten body of mine,
A traveller, a migrating bird without a home!
All alone I roved to a foreign land,
Getting homesick now and then.
Now I hear it's calling me again;
My hometown seems to be calling again.
Calling me, calling me,
My hometown is constantly calling me at dusk.
I miss the appearance of my hometown,
The moonlight-frequented mountain scenery.
And the stream in that yonder mountain
Always holds our dream in arms.
Tonight I'm dreaming of it again;
My hometown seems to be waiting for me!
Calling me, calling me,
My hometown is constantly calling me at dusk.
Sorrows in my heart and tears in my eyes,
I hear it's calling me over and over again.
Oh! White Cloud,
If you ever want to go back home,
Be sure to take my homesick with you!
And send it to my dear mom!
Please, don't ever ever forget!
Hi,
The above is an English rendition of a Taiwanese song that I made to practice my writing. Correct me where I go wrong.
It has always stricken a chord deep inside me without fail whenever it rings in my ears. Hopefully, you'll enjoy it!
Calling me, calling me,
My hometown is constantly calling me at dusk,
Calling this weather-beaten body of mine,
A traveller, a migrating bird without a home!
All alone I roved to a foreign land,
Getting homesick now and then.
Now I hear it's calling me again;
My hometown seems to be calling again.
Calling me, calling me,
My hometown is constantly calling me at dusk.
I miss the appearance of my hometown,
The moonlight-frequented mountain scenery.
And the stream in that yonder mountain
Always holds our dream in arms.
Tonight I'm dreaming of it again;
My hometown seems to be waiting for me!
Calling me, calling me,
My hometown is constantly calling me at dusk.
Sorrows in my heart and tears in my eyes,
I hear it's calling me over and over again.
Oh! White Cloud,
If you ever want to go back home,
Be sure to take my homesick with you!
And send it to my dear mom!
Please, don't ever ever forget!
Hi,
The above is an English rendition of a Taiwanese song that I made to practice my writing. Correct me where I go wrong.
It has always stricken a chord deep inside me without fail whenever it rings in my ears. Hopefully, you'll enjoy it!
Top answer
I love music, both English and Chinese. I love the way old-time music was composed with feelings and meanings. I can almost feel the sadness and his yearning to come home.
- I love music, both English and Chinese.
- I love the way old-time music was composed with feelings and meanings.
- I can almost feel the sadness and his yearning to come home.
- Lyrics, though, are not necessarily bound by the rules of grammar.
- So as long as the verses of story line comes across half way understood, no one would really critique the grammaticality of the verses.
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5 Answers
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I love music, both English and Chinese. I love the way old-time music was composed with feelings and meanings. I can almost feel the sadness and his yearning to come home. Lyrics, though, are not necessarily bound by the rules of grammar. So as long as the verses of story line comes across half way understood, no one would really critique the grammaticality of the verses. Lyrics are personal. The
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Thanks, Dimsum, for your comment.
But I still hope someone to point out the lines that sound odd for me so that I can improve!
But I still hope someone to point out the lines that sound odd for me so that I can improve!
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AngliholicBut I still hope someone to point out the lines that sound odd for me so that I can improve!I have underlined the parts that seemed odd to me on quick first reading:
All alone I roved to a foreign land, [apparently correct English, but seems strange, even with poetic licence. Could be just me?]
I miss the appearance of my
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[/quote]I have underlined the parts that seemed odd to me on quick first reading:
All alone I roam over a foreign land,
I miss the looks of my hometown,
The moonlight mountain scenery. [peculiar]
Always holds our dream in its arms.
Be sure to take my homesick mood with you! [ungrammatical]
And send it to m
All alone I roam over a foreign land,
I miss the looks of my hometown,
The moonlight mountain scenery. [peculiar]
Always holds our dream in its arms.
Be sure to take my homesick mood with you! [ungrammatical]
And send it to m
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