My having vs me having

Question

Hi,I saw this sentence on the web:"Virtual relationship has led to my having strong feelings for this man"Is 'me having' correct -"Virtual relationship has led to me having strong feelings for this man" ?Thks

Ferdis · Accepted Answer

my having is correct.

Otherwise it basically says that a virtual relationship has led to you, and you are in a state of having strong feelings for this man. But that's not what the sentence is about; it is about the relationship that led to the feelings that you have, not to you.

(If you're interested in the (rather complex) details, look up "fused participle", first hit, on google.)

By the way, there is also something wrong with the "virtual relationship has led to" part. that should be either "A virtual relationship has led to" or "Virtual relationships have led to".

Philip · Answer

ferdisOtherwise it basically says that a virtual relationship has led to you, and you are in a state of having strong feelings for this man.

And I believe a comma would be inserted after 'me'.

CalifJim · Answer

AnonymousIs 'me having' correct - ... led to me having strong feelings for this man" ?

No, but that doesn't stop people from saying it quite often!

Of course they mean "my having". It's not the end of the world if you make that mistake in conversation, but be sure to use the correct form in formal writing.

CJ

Ferdis · Answer

PhilipAnd I believe a comma would be inserted after 'me'.

Actually, it's not when the participle directly follows the word it modifies and is restrictive.

From the Purdue website:

Delores noticed her cousin walking along the shoreline.

The participial phrase functions as an adjective modifying cousin.

Note that if the participial phrase is essential to the meaning of the sentence, no commas should be used:

The student earning the highest grade point average will receive a special award.
The guy wearing the chicken costume is my cousin.

If a participial phrase comes at the end of a sentence, a comma usually precedes the phrase if it modifies an earlier word in the sentence but not if the phrase directly follows the word it modifies.

The local residents often saw Ken wandering through the streets.
(The phrase modifies Ken, not residents.)

CalifJim · Answer

ferdisActually, it's not when the participle directly follows the word it modifies and is restrictive.

From the Purdue website:

Delores noticed her cousin walking along the shoreline.

The participial phrase functions as an adjective modifying cousin.

Hmm. [:^)] The introductory comment ( ... and is restrictive) and the example don't go together. It's not a matter of that cousin who is walking along the shoreline and no other cousin, so it's not restrictive.

Compare: Delores noticed her cousin walking along the shoreline but not her cousin running among the dunes.

My preference would be to analyze this in terms of the catenative verb to notice.

to notice someone ...-ing.

The no-comma part is certainly true, though.

CJ

My having vs me having

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