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Waterenglish Posted 18 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
My Great Gatsby Thesis Statement Please Critique
0 Gatsby, metaphorically speaking, desperately tries to turn back time with his past lover Daisy, who is married to Tom, an unfaithful husband, causing Gatsby's demise and disillusionment which is represented through the filled pool that he dies in, Fitzgerald longing for American society to accept reality is reflected in this book. 02 br
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00 Thabk you ahead of time for critiquing my thesis 0-
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00 Thabk you ahead of time for critiquing my thesis 0-
Top answer
0 You need to break this into sentences, and not try to string together so many thoughts. The part that starts with Fitzgerald is not clear at all. Why do you say "metaphorically speaking"?
- 0 You need to break this into sentences, and not try to string together so many thoughts.
- The part that starts with Fitzgerald is not clear at all.
- Why do you say "metaphorically speaking"?
- It reads as though Daisy's marriage causes Gatsby's demise, etc.
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9 Answers
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0 You need to break this into sentences, and not try to string together so many thoughts. The part that starts with Fitzgerald is not clear at all. Why do you say "metaphorically speaking"? It reads as though Daisy's marriage causes Gatsby's demise, etc. 02 br
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00 What is the single-most important thing you want to say? 0-
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00 What is the single-most important thing you want to say? 0-
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00 Gatsby desperately tries to turn back time with his past lover Daisy, who has committed herself to a family, which causes Gatsby's demise and disillusionment. His inability to move on reflects American society’s path to self destruction. Fitzgerald wrote this novel to disenchant Americans from their false hopes and dreams. 02 br
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00 Hope this is better. Thanks
00 Gatsby desperately tries to turn back time with his past lover Daisy, who has committed herself to a family, which causes Gatsby's demise and disillusionment. His inability to move on reflects American society’s path to self destruction. Fitzgerald wrote this novel to disenchant Americans from their false hopes and dreams. 02 br
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00 Hope this is better. Thanks
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0 It's certainly easier to read, although I liked your earlier bit about Daisy's faithless husband. 02 br
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00 What about "... Daisy, but her continued commitment to her faithless husband leads to Gatsy's disillusionment and self-destruction." 02 br
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00 Do you think he wrote it to disenchant Americans? What about to reflect them? 0-
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00 What about "... Daisy, but her continued commitment to her faithless husband leads to Gatsy's disillusionment and self-destruction." 02 br
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00 Do you think he wrote it to disenchant Americans? What about to reflect them? 0-
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0 I believe he wrote this story to disenchant Americans or anyone else who reads it. I did like the previous line about Daisy's unfaithful husband. I hope its okay if I use a part of your revision. Thank you I have to go cut the grass now =( if there is anything else that you want to suggest, my response might be late. 02 br
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00 Gatsby desperately tries to turn back time w
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00 Gatsby desperately tries to turn back time w
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0 I'm still not crazy about disenchant, but it's your essay, so go for it. 02 br
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00 Would you like to cut my lawn too? 0-
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00 Would you like to cut my lawn too? 0-
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0 Well about your lawn hmmmmmm...... =) 02 br
00 Thanks for your help this means alot 0-
00 Thanks for your help this means alot 0-
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You're thesis statement summarizes the book, therefore, not making it a thesis statement. Try not to summarize.
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You need to be more concise, a thesis is supposed to be an argument that is easy to prove and has evidence to back it up. I would suggest that you break your thesis down to the main point, then go back and add in some quality diction to make it seem more vibrant.
PS don't be to wordy, this is a problem i often have but when i'm not wordy my work is much better.
PS don't be to wordy, this is a problem i often have but when i'm not wordy my work is much better.
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Hi Anon,
Please see the date of this post. The original poster turned in his or her essay a long time ago and your advice is too late. Please take a look for more recent posts so your talents can be put to better use.
Please see the date of this post. The original poster turned in his or her essay a long time ago and your advice is too late. Please take a look for more recent posts so your talents can be put to better use.
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