My friend's bachelor pary

Question

Hi, this is my blog, can you take a look it and give me some advise in writing part??

My friend Larry is getting married next month with Jennifer. So, we decided to get bachelor party for Larry at Reno. We got there on the Sat night. We walked around the Casino at Harry’s after checked-in. It was like only 5pm we thought It was too early for the bachelor party place. My friends started to gamble in the casino until we go to the place at night. It didn’t happened what I expected after all. My friends just can’t stop the gambling after all. They didn’t want to go for party because of the stupid Cashion. I begged them so many times and they still didn’t wanted go. Larry and his other friend already went to the bachelor party place since they’re with Larry’s car. I can’t go because I was with my friend’s car. Sucks. It’s not only that I can’t make to the bachelor party, it’s the gambling makes me sick. I remember one of my friend said, stupid people go gambling, smart people open their Casino. I think it’s so true. So, the whole bachelor party turned to a gambling night. I feel bad for myself because I didn’t do what I was came for and I feel bad for Larry because we should be with him all the time, it’s his day!

Mohan_p · Accepted Answer

Here is a rewritten version of your blog. I tried first to just correct the placing of verbs etc. but ended up modifying your sentences . I hope it helps to some extent atleast.

My friend Larry is getting married next month to Jennifer. To celebrate the occasion , we decided to throw a bachelors party for Larry at Reno on saturday night. We reached the place quite early around 5:00 pm on saturday evening. Since it was too early for the party at Reno, we thought of spending some time at Harry’s Casino before we headed to Reno later in the evening.

However things did not happen as I had expected. Once having started, my friends became too engrossed in gambling to think of anything else, not even the Larry’s party. They just could not stop gambling. Inspite of my begging so many times they persisted and all for the stupid casino!

Larry and his friend had already left for the party in Larry’s car. I could not go as I was traveling in my friend’s car. It really sucked. In addition to not being able to make for the party, it sucked because gambling makes me sick. I remember one of my friends who said – stupid people go gambling, smart people open their casinos. He was so right!

So the entire evening turned out to be a gambling night. I felt bad for myself because I didn’t do what I came for and I felt bad for Larry because we couldn’t be with him all the time, after all it was his day!

Yohooo8 · Answer

After read your rewriting version of my blog to reno, i feel like i don't know how to write at all. Man, this sucks, i have been living U.S more than 10 years now and i still can't write.

anyway, thanks for the help. I am looking forward to your help in the future time.

Mohan_p · Answer

No reason good enough to get discouraged! Probably you wrote down in a go without editing yourself.

Anyway for helping you out - a quick suggestion right away : Read, Write, Read, Write,Read,Write,Speak,Read,Write..something which I am trying myself since few weeks.
My picks : Short stories ( Saki is my favorite ), Robinson Crusoe ( unabridged )..

Looking to see your around more often. Good luck!

My friend's bachelor pary

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