My friends and me

Question

I'd like information on the grammatical correctness or usage ( frequency ) of the the phrase 'my friends and me' in comparison to 'my friends and I'
I have the feeling that the phrase is used only in informal speech and not considered grammatically correct

Pieanne · Accepted Answer

Hello, Walsrode, welcome to the forums!
Well, it depends on how you use them:

"my friends and I" should be subjects:
My friends and I are fond of rap.

"my friends and me" should be an objective form:
He left a present for my friends and me.

But there have been a lot of posts lately about this matter, and it seems "my friends and I" can be heard in both cases. I'm not sure grammar has accepted this use so far...

Khoff · Answer

"My friends and I" is correct as the subject of the verb. "My friends and me" is correct as the direct or indirect object of the verb. You can tell which is correct by separating the friends into their own sentence - then it will be clear which is correct. Examples:

My friends and I like movies. My friends like movies. I like movies. (NOT "me like movies!")

She kissed my friends and me. She kissed my friends. She kissed me. (NOT "she kissed I.")

He sent greetings to my friends and me. He sent greetings to my friends. He sent greetings to me.
(NOT "he sent greetings to I")

See? Just get the friends into their own sentence and it all becomes clear. HOWEVER - be warned that mixing these up is a common mistake among native speakers -- some people think, as you suggested, that "me" is informal and "I" is always more correct. NOT TRUE. (This is one of my pet peeves, in case you couldn't tell.)

--khoff

Walsrode · Answer

I am an English teacher myself and this was a question one of my students asked me

this is what the British National corpus says
We go snakechasing, my friends and me!';
I am not interesting in object/subject difference
but in sentences like

My friends and me want to have some fun tonight
which I have heard some people use but still have the feeling that it is incorrect

Khoff · Answer

My friends and me want to have some fun tonight --
yes, some people use it, but it is incorrect. You're right.

Pieanne · Answer

You're right, it isn't correct. And it's true, you'll hear it!

Walsrode · Answer

thanks for your help

I hope this will be useful in future

for a first time not bad

Pieanne · Answer

Right! come and see us again!

Lucato · Answer

Hi folks,

Getting the examples given before:

• My friends and I like movies. My friends like movies. I like movies. (NOT "me like movies!")
• She kissed my friends and me. She kissed my friends. She kissed me. (NOT "she kissed I.")

I got a doubt. Can I say/write the way it's shown below? If not, why not?

- I and my friends like movies. I like movies. My friends like movies.
- She kissed me and my friends. She kissed me. She kissed my friends.

Does the 1st person needs to be placed as last position? (My Gosh! How can I ask that in better way?)

Thanks.

Hbae787 · Answer

Does the 1st person needs to be placed as last position?

Yes it does. For politeness/humility/modesty purpose children are taught to write and say "you and I", "you and me", "he and I" etc. since grade school. Over time this sequence becomes automatic in both conversation and writing.

Khoff · Answer

--- I and my friends like movies. I like movies. My friends like movies.
----She kissed me and my friends. She kissed me. She kissed my friends.

In these examples, the first one sounds unnatural to me - possibly for the reason
hbae explains, I'm not sure. Starting the sentence with "I and..." just sounds awkward to me. On the other hand, the second example sounds fine.

My friends and me

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