My formal letter of request - please help me check it!

You coach an amateur football team. Write a letter to a local school requesting permission to use their facilities and explaining why your team cannot find facilities elsewhere. Suggest how this may be arranged so that your team's training will not interfere with the school's activities.

Dear Mr. Steven,

I am writing on behalf of Golden Ball Club to request that you be so kind as to permit our football team to use your school's facilities for the training purposes.

Our team is undergoing the intensive training for the National Cup at the end of the year. Unfortunately, our practicing field is going to be hired to hold an social event in a month. Therefore, we need to find another place. After having considered certain ones, we are keen to do our practice in a soccer field like yours, which is fitted with all modern and high standard equipments. I suggest our training would be in weekends and at after school time so as not to interfere with your school's activities. I would be grateful if you could allow us to come to practice in your school.

I would also like to offer a suggestion as to how our practice would be of benefit to your school. Allow me to introduce that Golden Ball is one the best amateur football club all over the country. In addition, I myself have 8 year experience in coaching amateur players. We are seeking potential individuals for the next generation of the club and we are willing to offer free coaching hours for your students, especially those who have passion with football. I feel that students in a school like yours, which has an excellent reputation of physical education, might wish to be trained in our club and to have opportunities to develop their talent.

I would like to thank you in advance for your time and cooperation in this matter and I look forward to receiving your reply as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely,

E. Brown