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NSHASHBA Posted 17 years ago
it was winter of 2002 the month of January when I come back from the mosque after noon I had nothing to do; so I sat in the office and I started Sailing in the Web I have not install any anti-virus; I entered in games website and I started playing my enjoyable game but every 4 minutes it emerge Window advertising it was Written in it travel to America with ten dollars only; this window disturbed me until i pressed on ok suddenly I saw a face of savage how strange? In Two seconds it disappeared… what is this? And I saw all my personal information my name my bank account... it wrote in the pc I noted the process of sending information to the site And now I can not control the computer after few minutes the face of savage went out from the computer and entered in computer of my friend
I traveled to America with the plane in 15 minutes when I arrived at the company I told them the problem they sent with me five men to eradicate the virus and when they arrived to the house they are entered into the computer and they killed the virus completely and they told me his name it was Trojan horse
at the end,
I BOUGHT avast anti-virus
the five men advised me to never enter the net and the computer without anti viruses software.....it names a virus of Trojan horse
this is my first attempt and I hope that I have succeed in it ....my friends can help me with correcting my Mistakes
thanks a lot
Grammar
My first personal story ..
Be carefully
it was winter of 2002 the month of January when I come back from the mosque after noon I had nothing to do; so I sat in the office and I started Sailing in the Web I have not install any anti-virus; I entered in games website and I started playing my enjoyable game but every 4 minutes it emerge Window advertising it was Written in it travel to America with ten dollars only; this window disturbed me until i pressed on ok suddenly I saw a face of savage how strange? In Two seconds it disappeared… what is this? And I saw all my personal information my name my bank account... it wrote in the pc I noted the process of sending information to the site And now I can not control the computer after few minutes the face of savage went out from the computer and entered in computer of my friend
I traveled to America with the plane in 15 minutes when I arrived at the company I told them the problem they sent with me five men to eradicate the virus and when they arrived to the house they are entered into the computer and they killed the virus completely and they told me his name it was Trojan horse
at the end,
I BOUGHT avast anti-virus
the five men advised me to never enter the net and the computer without anti viruses software.....it names a virus of Trojan horse
this is my first attempt and I hope that I have succeed in it ....my friends can help me with correcting my Mistakesthanks a lot
Top answer
Congratulations , you did well , it's an exciting story but should focus on the grammar . You've talked about the past , although that you've used ( come ) , (they are) instead of (came ) , (they were) . These are some wrongs which i noted .
- Congratulations , you did well , it's an exciting story but should focus on the grammar .
- You've talked about the past , although that you've used ( come ) , (they are) instead of (came ) , (they were) .
- These are some wrongs which i noted .
- But it's good attempt as firs story .
- Continue my friend , i hope to see you famous author soon .
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2 Answers
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Congratulations , you did well , it's an exciting story but should focus on the grammar . You've talked about the past , although that you've used ( come ) , (they are) instead of (came ) , (they were) . These are some wrongs which i noted . But it's good attempt as firs story
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Thanks a lot my friend you encouraged me to learn more about english when you Gave me my Mistakes
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