I woke up to the annoying sound of my alarm clock around seven a.m. I tried to doze back to sleep, but the loud footsteps and voices of my family kept me up. I flipped my warm green blanket over, rolled over to the other side of the full-sized bed, and charged towards the door. “Good Morning to you too!” I screamed angrily. My voice echoed throughout the entire two-story white house. Instantly, it was silent. I peacefully walked back into my room, and wrapped myself in the covers. For 10 minutes tired to go back to sleep, but it did not work. so, I got ready for school. I picked out a blue and white striped sweater shirt, gray jeans, and my new pair of blue converses. I gathered my almond cookie body washing set from Carol’s Daughter and headed to the bathroom. After I washed my face, and brushed my teeth, I got into the shower. As I wash, the sweet aroma from the body wash put me in daze, I had bout five minutes to get out and get dressed. At 7:18 am, I went down stair and started to make breakfast. I look in the fridge to see what we had to make. I started grabbing ingredients that I needed to make a bacon egg, and cheese sandwich. The thought of crispy bacon and melted cheese made my mouth water. I knew what I wanted to make. I searched for the bacon, right below the fruit, and vegetable bin. Check. Then I look for the eggs in the carton. Check. Then I went for the cheese inside the bin. My hand starts searching around, “Where’s the cheese?” I thought to myself. I opened the tray a little more, and there was no cheese in site. “Oh Sugar snaps,” I said with intensity copying my former teacher from high school. I decided to cook what I had. I made the eggs sunny side up, cooked the bacon in a greasy pan, and made the toast with spreadable butter, and grape jelly. When I was finished eating and cooking, around 7:30, I put on my black jacket, and headed for the door. At the last minute, I remember there was a snowstorm the last night. I grabbed my gloves, snow boots, and headed for my car. The snow piled up on top of the car an arm length deep. I was in total shock. After pushing the snow off the car for a good seven minutes, I rushed to the garage, and grabbed the window scraper. This scraper did wonders for my dad back in New York so I knew my problems were over. It is now 7:46, and I am running late for my first class that starts at 8:00 am. I jump into my 95 Toyota Camry and started driving down the road. My school is about fifteen minutes away so I decided I should take the short cut. Now I know I am going be late. I turn down University Parkway (SR 316) and notice there nothing but slow-moving cars, and snow. After 35 minutes of being stuck in traffic, I parked to the closest spot near the building. I walk behind two other students into the A-building and towards the classroom marked #1754. It’s now 8:33 am, and there is no one in the room. “Oh Great!” I said out loud disrupting the classroom next door. I walked to the front lobby and asked the security guard “Hello, Do you know if the Professor located #1754 left a message for his student?” “Yes he did,” she answers, “The class has been relocated to the C- building in room #1135.” My face dropped. “Thank You,” I said in a rush, as I walked out the automatic doors. The breeze hits my face like a ton of bricks when the door opened. The feeling of cold wind makes me mad. Five minutes later when I got to the C-building I searched for the room number 1135. Behold! The last door to the left I open the door. Seated a class full of student, not one person was missing. I asked, “Is this Professor N’s class?” “I do not think so, I am Professor Wallace, I teach in this class every Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays around this time,” he replied. After the confusion, I look back into my folder, and there it stated my class begins 8 o’clock Tuesdays and Thursdays mornings. I felt embarrassed. I woke up 7o’ clock in the morning, traveled 10 miles on a half-gallon of gas in traffic, and freeze my butt off walking to come here. Disappointed, I traveled back those 10 miles to my white house. I sat in the car with raging anger thinking about the trip I have to take back later that afternoon. I learned to plan more carefully and stay cautious of traffic, time, and weather. After I got back from my afternoon class, I come to realize college is going to be easier than I thought.
Top answer
Hi, I have two very quick comments about this. You have a lot of present tense that should be past tense. I suggest you try organizing this into shorter paragraphs.
— Clive
Hi, I have two very quick comments about this.
You have a lot of present tense that should be past tense.
I suggest you try organizing this into shorter paragraphs.
You'd be surprised how much more appealing that will make it look to a potential reader here.
Clive
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